Our trip to San Diego & #63: Go Kayaking

On Independence Day this year Bruce and I drove down to San Diego for his old roommate Brian's wedding. Since Bruce had never been to San Diego before (outside of the airport) we decided to make it a mini-vacation.

We stayed in Ladera Ranch on Wednesday night with our friends Jeff and Meredith. We saw some of the best fireworks I've seen in recent years at the show their HOA put on. We reclined on blankets and watched fireworks overhead - just like the shows I went to as a kid at my grandpa Jack's house. I felt nostalgic and happy and Jeff's and Meredith's little boy Jude is so charming and curly-headed. Bruce and I both love him.

Thursday morning we finished the drive to San Diego and went for a barefoot hike at Torrey Pines. We played on the beach all morning: finding crabs, collecting cool shells for my nephews, and playing in the surf.

We crashed in our hotel in the afternoon. It wasn't until I went to Trader Joe's that I saw that we were directly across the freeway from the LDS temple!

My cousin Liz and her husband Dave hosted us for dinner at their home. We saw them about a year ago when we went to Mesa, but they have a new baby Fritz (Frederick Russell), so it was fun to meet him and admire how big their oldest, William, is getting. William and I played chase in the back yard and also played in his sand box (shaped like a giant red crab). We shared our addiction to chocolate covered sunflower seeds with them. It's my favorite host/hostess gift these days.

Friday we woke up early to go to breakfast (forgettable place, but right on the water, which is cool), and then went sea kayaking at La Jolla coves and shores. It was my first time and I love, love, loved it! I can't wait to kayak again! We were gone for a few hours, did a little snorkeling (except for Bruce - the mask couldn't suction to his face because of his beard. oops...). Tropical snorkeling is way cooler, so he didn't miss out on much, but I loved swimming in the caves and seeing bright orange fish. I also spotted a jellyfish just before a group of people swam into it, so pretty much I saved the day!

We then went to Con Pane at Liberty Station which was fantastic! We bought tons of bread and ate delicious sandwiches and got a cinnamon roll to go. I think our favorite loaf was the rosemary bread.

That evening was the reception for our friend Brian and his new wife Silvia. We reunited with old friends - many unexpectedly - and ate great food.

That night we went to see my other cousin who lives in San Diego (Del Mar). Bruce hadn't met this cousin and his family (I have 100+ first cousins, so that's not too surprising...) and we loved visiting with them.

Saturday we drove home after going to the San Diego temple to perform some sealings. We stopped in north LA (canyon country) to meet our friend / adopted cousin Benj's son Soren (also adorable) and to give Benj and his wife Meg hugs.

A great trip! I'm only sorry we didn't eat more Mexican food :)

#10: Donate to Locks of Love

On Wednesday I went to get my annual haircut and Sheri, who has cut my hair for 15 years, said my hair was long enough to donate to locks of love. Soooo we chopped it and I surprised Bruce :)

May and June 2012

So Bruce and I have been super busy so far this spring / summer! We went camping three times in May (with our church, with my sister's family to Yosemite, and just us in Big Sur). We had a great time! And just when we thought we would be having a low key Memorial Day my work threw a last minute request at me to go to London (!!!). They even offered to fly Bruce out and pay for his expenses, too. Clearly this was an offer we couldn't refuse, so we went early and enjoyed 3 days in Paris before spending 4 days in London.

So I guess my attempt to quit my job wasn't really very effective, was it? :) It's been nice to have more time to myself and I don't mind transitioning slowly out of working. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I keep working through the end of the year or even longer. We'll see!

This week I hosted a baby shower & Bruce just finished a major deadline at work (hooray!). Next week we're off to a girls / youth camp for our church (I'll be gone all week, Bruce will come for 2 days). After that I think I may be done camping for awhile...

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

I'm in the midst of reading this book and I want to mark several passages so that I can remember them. Hopefully some of you will like them as much as I do.


The following passages highlight Frankl's conclusions on finding meaning in life:

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. (page 75)

An active life serves the purpose of giving man the opportunity to realize values in creative work, while a passive life of enjoyment affords him the opportunity to obtain fulfillment in experiencing beauty, art, or nature. But there is also purpose in that life which is almost barren of both creation and enjoyment and which admits of but one possibility of high moral behavior: namely, in man's attitude to his existence, an existence restricted by external forces. A creative life and a life of enjoyment are banned to him. But not only his creativeness and enjoyment are meaningful. If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete. (page 76)

I once read a letter written by a young invalid, in which he told a friend that he had just found he would not live for long, that even an operation would be of no help. He wrote further that he remembered a film he had seen in which a man was portrayed who waited for death in a courageous and dignified way. The boy had thought it a great accomplishment to meet death so well. Now—he wrote—fate was offering him a similar chance. (page 77) 

Details of a particular man's inner greatness may ... come to [your] mind*, like the story of the young woman whose death I witnessed in a concentration camp. It is a simple story. There is little to tell and it may sound as if I had invented it: but to me it seems like a poem.

This young woman knew that she would die in the next few days. But when I talked to her she was cheerful in spite of this knowledge. "I am grateful that fate has hit me so hard," she told me. "In my former life I was spoiled and did not take spiritual accomplishments seriously." Pointing through the window of the hut, she said, "This tree here is the only friend I have in my loneliness." Through that window she could see just one branch of a chestnut tree, and on the branch were two blossoms. "I often talk to this tree," she said to me. I was startled and didn't quite know how to take her words. Was she delirious? Did she have occasional hallucinations? Anxiously I asked her if the tree replied. "Yes." What did it say to her? She answered, "It said to me, 'I am here—I am here—I am life, eternal life.'" 

 *One that comes to my mind is my dear friend Kate who faced long months of pain with dignity and faith until her eventual death.

I read this on the wall of my therapist's office in November

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.


We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, remembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known because not looked for 
But heard, half heard, in the stillness
Between the two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(costing not less than everything)

T.S. Eliot

Meditation #17 By John Donne From Devotions upon Emergent Occasions (1623), XVII

[My brother, who always skips my long poem / blog posts, actually read this to me aloud yesterday. :) ]

Nunc Lento Sonitu Dicunt, Morieris (Now this bell, tolling softly for another, says to me, Thou must die.)

Perchance, he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that. The church is catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all. When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is thereby connected to that body which is my head too, and ingrafted into that body whereof I am a member. And when she buries a man, that action concerns me: all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another. As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come, so this bell calls us all; but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness.

There was a contention as far as a suit (in which both piety and dignity, religion and estimation, were mingled), which of the religious orders should ring to prayers first in the morning; and it was determined, that they should ring first that rose earliest. If we understand aright the dignity of this bell that tolls for our evening prayer, we would be glad to make it ours by rising early, in that application, that it might be ours as well as his, whose indeed it is.

The bell doth toll for him that thinks it doth; and though it intermit again, yet from that minute that this occasion wrought upon him, he is united to God. Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but who takes off his eye from a comet when that breaks out? Who bends not his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it from that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world?

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us the misery of our neighbours. Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it. No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by it, and made fit for God by that affliction. If a man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he travels. Tribulation is treasure in the nature of it, but it is not current money in the use of it, except we get nearer and nearer our home, heaven, by it. Another man may be sick too, and sick to death, and this affliction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a mine, and be of no use to him; but this bell, that tells me of his affliction, digs out and applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another's danger I take mine own into contemplation, and so secure myself, by making my recourse to my God, who is our only security.

Quote of the Day

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.


Peter Ustinov

Carmel-by-the-Sea and San Francisco

Lupines on the beach

Yesterday I went with my friend Jess to Carmel and the 17-Mile Drive. It is one of my favorite places to visit and the weather was perfect (high 60s, sunny). My friend Jess is moving soon to Idaho, so it was just great to spend time just the two of us. You can see her post on the day here.

Bruce and I spent my birthday in Monterey and Carmel last year and I used to go often with my parents when I was in high school and during summers home from college. I have great memories of springs and summers down there, but one thing I don't remember seeing before was lupines--and they were everywhere!

Cottage of Sweets in downtown Carmel

We grabbed lunch at Pebble Beach, bought some candy at Cottage of Sweets and walked on the beach in downtown Carmel.

Later in the evening I drove up to San Francisco where a very dear friend from high school treated me to dinner in the Marina. We ate at Bistro Aix where I got a pork chop with risotto and english peas - oh my, it was delicious! We talked for over 3 hours :) It's amazing to see where life has taken us in the 15 years that have passed since we first met in chemistry class in 1998. It's both scary and exciting to imagine what more will pass in the next 15 years...

I'm grateful for living in the beautiful bay area and for wonderful friends that I have met here.

Quote of the Day

A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.
Carl Sandburg

What we did (last week)

• I got a fever on Monday & tonsillitis on Tuesday
• I finished my last 2 days of full-time work on those same days :)
• We both flew to Portland Wednesday morning
• 5 hours after our descent my right ear finally popped
• We visited my in-laws--had a fantastic time with them, as usual!
• Bruce worked from the secret Portland Google Office
• Thursday I took the bus into downtown Portland and blissed out at Powell's, Anthropologie, Nordstrom Rack J. Crew, and a new find: Joe's Burgers! Their PB cup milkshake was amazing and the service staff made my day! Also, how much do I love that Oregon has no (0) sales tax!? So much.
• (Also on Thursday) we met a very shy chocolate lab puppy named Truffles!
• Friday Bruce took me to an urgent care clinic -- I got a Z-Pack (antibiotics) and started feeling better almost immediately
• Saturday we went out to breakfast with my brother-in-law David and his wife Amanda before going to my sister-in-law Kristy's wedding (some pics on Amanda's blog here) at the Portland temple. The ceremony was simple and tender and we are so excited that Kristy and Josh are married
• The sun came out on Saturday for the wedding -- it was beautiful! My In-Laws had planted beautiful spring flowers all around their home and the flowers done by my sister-in-law Shanna were the best I've ever seen at a wedding. Kristy's bouquet was especially beautiful. Did I mention I loved the flowers?
• Sunday I ate a gazillion orange rolls and then we flew home.

On my last day of full-time employment

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Carl Sandburg

Stress Buster #12

Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.

A few years ago I found out that I have a physical condition that is aggravated and triggered by caffeine. Whereas many principles of my diet are up to me to see how I react / feel, the doctor was adamant about caffeine (and alcohol, incidentally). I am very grateful for revelation and a health code that has minimized the impacts of the condition and which has made it easy to follow my doctor's direction.


Elder Marion D. Hanks:

"The Word of Wisdom teaches us a great principle and makes a promise. The principle is that everything good God has provided for us we should use with thanksgiving and good judgment, with prudence and not to excess. Everything that is not good for us we should leave alone. The promise is that if we obey this principle we will be better off in every way: in health, in knowledge and wisdom, and in wonderful spiritual blessings.

"We know now through evidence that cannot be questioned, that alcohol and tobacco and caffeine are not good for the body. We know that they are destructive and harmful. We know much about the importance of the proper food to eat and about moderation in diet. These facts were not available to Joseph Smith except through revelation received from our Heavenly Father. That is how he received them, and we need to remember that, when we thank the Lord for wonderful blessings we have received through prophets from God."

Update

• Starting my last full week of work. I quit my job and my last day is Tuesday, April 3rd. I'll be working part-time (maybe?) for a few months before transitioning to my career as a full-time housewife.
• (nope, not pregnant)
• Going to Portland next week for Bruce's sister's wedding (!!!)
• Going to girls' camp in June. I'll be a 2nd Year Certification Leader.
• Campaigning to get Bruce to come for two days -- it's not working so far.
• My sweet peas are just starting to pop up out of the soil. So exciting!

It's going to be a busy / long week!

Quote of the Day

There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.

Carl Sandburg

Stress Buster #11

Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments.

Doctrine & Covenants 38:30: If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.

Quote of the Day

"Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart."
Ruth Graham

Dr. Stu and Match Day

Today is Match Day and we finally found out where my brother Stu will be doing his medical residency. Can you believe my baby brother is finishing medical school??? This is the boy who would sleep during our high school Spanish class. Yes, of course you should trust him with a scalpel.

Actually, Stuart came back from his mission with quite an internal drive for academics and specifically medicine. I'm so proud of his determination, hard work, and integrity. I know he'll be a wonderful doctor!

AND I am so excited that he and his wife Barb will be coming to the Bay Area! Stuart matched with Kaiser in San Francisco, which is awesome because now all of my four siblings will be in the Bay Area!!! San Francisco is perfect for them, too, because Barb's sister Suz lives in Berkeley.

In other great news: my former roommate Rejia got matched with a residency in San Jose, which means she can live with her husband permanently instead of doing the commuter marriage between Rochester, NY and Palo Alto, CA and my cousin matched with UCLA -- well within driving distance of his family in Arizona.

We couldn't be happier!

p.s.

I'm pretty sure one of my cyclamen is dead. Trying to decide if I should replace it with something else (geraniums?) or just get another. The other three cyclamen are fine, so I think it just was less hardy.

Also, I got raw goats milk per my cousin's recommendation and it tastes just like regular milk and is way easier on my tummy (not so much on the wallet...). Maybe someday I can have a goat and Bruce can milk it for me. (I kid*! I would have our future children milk it, of course. Builds character and children love goats, right?)

*no pun intended, but kind of hilarious, all the same, yes?

Spring

A month or so ago Bruce mounted two hanging containers on our porch and I put two red cyclamen plants in each one of them.

Cyclamen

On Saturday, I bought some primroses and ranunculus for some of our regular containers.

Ranunculus - ours are red, bright pink, and light pink

I bought too many primroses so I added some of those to the cyclamen containers. I'll have to get Bruce to take some pictures soon. I love having spring flowers and just wish we had direct sun so we could grow some vegetables. For now it will have to be flowers and herbs.

Primroses

Stress Buster #9

Plan ahead. Don't let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a
well-stocked "emergency shelf" of home staples; don't wait until you're down to
your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more; etc.

Henry B. Eyring, Spiritual Preparedness: Start Early and Be Steady:
"As my father lay in his bed near death, I asked him if he didn’t think it was a time to repent and pray for forgiveness for any sins that were not yet resolved with God. He probably heard a little hint in my voice that he might fear death and the Judgment. He just chuckled quietly, smiled up at me, and said, 'Oh no, Hal, I’ve been repenting as I went along.'
"Decisions now to exercise faith and be steady in obedience will in time produce great faith and assurance. That is the spiritual preparedness we all will need. And it will qualify us in the moments of crisis to receive the Lord’s promise that 'if ye are prepared ye shall not fear.'
"That will be true when we face the storms of life and the prospect of death. A loving Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son have given us all the help They can to pass the test of life set before us. But we must decide to obey and then do it. We build the faith to pass the tests of obedience over time and through our daily choices. We can decide now to do quickly whatever God asks of us. And we can decide to be steady in the small tests of obedience which build the faith to carry us through the great tests, which will surely come. "

Milk... boo hoo!

So, I am getting confirmation once again that I simply cannot have cereal with milk (in this case 1%) on a daily basis; also I haven't been doing so great with carrageenan in my almond milk and I am not a fan of soy milk, so what do I do when I want to eat Lucky Charms, I ask???

(Also, shouldn't it be the Lucky Charms that makes me sick???? HA!)

Stress Buster #8

Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.

Quote of the Day

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
Abraham Lincoln

Stress Buster #7

Be prepared to wait. A paperback can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.

Neal A. Maxwell:
Clearly, without patience we will learn less in life. We will see less; we will feel less; we will hear less. Ironically, "rush" and "more" usually mean "less." The pressure of "now," time and time again, go against the grain of the gospel with its eternalism.

Things to accomplish in 2012

From my 100 things, I'm planning to do the following this year:

• go on a cruise (#16) - I go tomorrow!
• learn to play the organ using pedals (#45) - I only sort of fake it right now
• start writing my personal history (#58) - I haven't journaled consistently since high school, so I should start improving my habits here. Bruce has been a great journaler - up until he met married me, of course... oops!
• start memorizing some poems & scriptures :) (#70 & #55)

I probably will only finish the first one, since the last two are more ongoing efforts and I have a feeling the second one will be, too.

Quote of the Day

Gordon B. Hinckley clipped this from the Wall Street Journal, titled “The Most Creative Job in the World”:

“It involves taste, fashion, decorating, recreation, education, transportation, psychology, romance, cuisine, designing, literature, medicine, handicraft, art, horticulture, economics, government, community relations, pediatrics, geriatrics, entertainment, maintenance, purchasing, direct mail, law, accounting, religion, energy and management. Anyone who can handle all those has to be somebody special. She is. She’s a homemaker.” (3 June 1983.)

via

Stress Buster #6

Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart "at the worst possible moment."

Stress Buster #5

Make duplicates of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden.

What we have been up to

• Bruce and I organized & cleaned our entire bedroom last night. It's starting to look really good!
• One of the Christmas cards we received was a print of a piece (painted by our friend) that I've been wanting for a long time. I got it back from being framed yesterday and it looks gorgeous! I'll try to take a picture soon.
• My cruise is in 2 weeks. Bruce is going to Austin to visit some friends while I'm gone.
• I'm sick for the third time in 4 weeks. I thought I had been sleeping & taking care of myself, but my clients tell me differently. How would they know? I'm serious. Also, I did get a flu shot, so it's just head colds & what-not, so not a huge deal except that I am on the phone a lot so it's hard on my voice.
• My work computer crashed at noon and I still can't get it to start up. I'm trying to work from our mac, but all of my files & bookmarks are on my pc. Maybe I should give up =)

I think I'm going to go get some pho now.

The Butternut Tree at Fort Juniper by Jack Gilbert

I called the tree a butternut (which I don't think
it is) so I could talk about how different
the trees are around me here in the rain.
It reminds me how mutable language is. Keats
would leave blank places in his drafts to hold on
to his passion, spaces for the right words to come.
We use them sideways. The way we automatically
add bits of shape to hold on to the dissolving dreams.
So many of the words are for meanwhile. We say,
"I love you" while we search for language
that can be heard. Which allows us to talk
about how the aspens over there tremble
in the smallest shower, while the tree over by
the window here gathers the raindrops and lets them
go in bunches. The way my heart carols sometimes,
and other times yearns. Sometimes is quiet
and other times is powerfully quiet.

Stress Buster #4

Do nothing you have to lie about later.

John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free

Sweet Nothings

I just have to document this because it made me so happy and I don't want to forget these little moments.

Monday - I dropped off my older nephew from school at a friend's house. I went in the back room to interrupt my younger nephew Tommy (2 1/2) at play to get a quick hug. I said, 'Tommy, can you come give me a hug?' His head popped out of the play house he was in and he said 'Of course!' before running over to me to give me a sweet hug and kiss.

Wednesday (today) - I went to my parents' house to use their phone (since I had forgotten mine). I walked in and Tommy ran up the stairs immediately to me. His mom said, 'well, that's the first time today he's been excited about anything!' He gave me a big hug and asked me 'where's Bruce?' I explained Bruce wasn't around and instead of climbing down, he continued to hug me as we walked downstairs. Then he said to me in his little baby voice, 'I've miss'd you so much.' I hadn't quite heard so I asked him what he'd said and he said it again. Oh my! my heart just melted then and there. I love that baby boy!

Surprised by Evening by Robert Bly

There is unknown dust that is near us
Waves breaking on shores just over the hill
Trees full of birds that we have never seen
Nets drawn with dark fish.

The evening arrives; we look up and it is there
It has come through the nets of the stars
Through the tissues of the grass
Walking quietly over the asylums of the waters.

The day shall never end we think:
We have hair that seemed born for the daylight;
But at last the quiet waters of the night will rise
And our skin shall see far off as it does under water.

Stress Buster #3

Don't rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.

I've gotten worse at this since using Google Calendar, because it's not very well integrated with my iPhone, nor is it integrated with my work calendar. I'm doing better about looking at my Google Calendar, but it is a challenge.

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Stress Buster #2

Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.

I do this on the days I go to the office (as opposed to the days I work from home) and I love it. I lay out my clothes just like I used to do as a kid (for the first day of school, at least). I put everything I need by the door so that I can grab it on my way out (bag, water bottle, computer).

Life after the wedding

One of the reasons I haven't blogged much since Bruce and I got married is that there has been so much change, change that I don't really know how to embrace.

I love being married to Bruce and I love having our own apartment and making our own life together, but almost everything else about getting married and being newly married has been very challenging.

When we were first married, work got very busy and I got a serious case of 'senioritis' - where all I wanted was to quit my job and be a stay at home wife. It felt very strange to want that so strongly, and I was really depressed with having such a discrepancy in what I wanted and what I was doing. Of course, I wasn't really going to quit my job and live off of Bruce's income, but it was what I wanted and so I just felt guilty and frustrated.

Then, I gained a lot of weight after getting married and I was very insecure socially with my old friends from the singles ward as well as new friends I was meeting at church.

Which was the final challenge, really. Even now, Bruce and I haven't really made friends with anyone at church. There are many people I admire and everyone is friendly, but every now and then when I stumble across a blog of someone at church, I see all of these parties & get-togethers with other people in our ward (including members who are newer than we are), and I don't want to be covetous or sad, but I do feel a little left out and lonely. I know we aren't even party people, per se, but it's hard to go from a single ward where everyone is always invited (for the most part) to a family ward where church and social life seem very, very separate.

Things have been getting better. I spoke to a counselor late last year to talk through some of the frustrations I had been having, and that helped a lot. I feel much better about my job and how to draw boundaries so that even if it's busy I don't feel trapped. I am very grateful to have the job that I have, even though I don't *love* it. I have great co-workers, great benefits, and lots of flexibility. My manager acknowledges all of the good work I do and is not overly critical for the mistakes I make. He is very supportive and I couldn't be luckier. The Lord has led me throughout my career to better and better situations and I know He is still with me.

I probably should have expressed this throughout the last year and a half, but I was embarrassed and didn't really know what to write. I didn't really understand the reactions I was having and felt weird that I was so happy being married and yet so sad about the change that was happening. Even when I could count my blessings and knew that my life wasn't 'that hard,' it still felt hard.

One good change coming up: I turn 30 in a few weeks! So crazy, but I'm really excited! It's strange to be getting so old and realize how young I am, too :) haha

The Purist by Ogden Nash

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."

Stress Buster #1

Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.

I have this collection of 52 stress busters that I found online at Texas Woman's University and I love them! I am going to post them once a week so that I can think about them and refer to them. Let's be honest, this blog is more for my benefit than for yours. (sorry about that). Also, I really liked this article '9 Reasons to Wake up Early' and am going to study it in addition to stress busters.

I Am Cherry Alive by Delmore Schwartz

“I am cherry alive,” the little girl sang,
“Each morning I am something new:
I am apple, I am plum, I am just as excited
As the boys who made the Hallowe’en bang:
I am tree, I am cat, I am blossom too:
When I like, if I like, I can be someone new,
Someone very old, a witch in a zoo:
I can be someone else whenever I think who,
And I want to be everything sometimes too:
And the peach has a pit and I know that too,
And I put it in along with everything
To make the grown-ups laugh whenever I sing:
And I sing It is true; it is untrue;
I know, I know, the true is untrue,
The peach has a pit, and the pit has a peach:
And both may be wrong when I sing my song,
But I don’t tell the grown-ups: because it is sad,
And I want them to laugh just like I do
Because they grew up and forgot what they knew
And they are sure I will forget it some day too.
They are wrong. They are wrong. When I sang my song, I knew, I knew!
I am red, I am gold, I am green, I am blue,
I will always be me, I will always be new!”

Percy (One) by Mary Oliver

Percy

(One)

Our new dog, named for the beloved poet,
ate a book which unfortunately we had
left unguarded.
Fortunately, it was the Bhagavad Gita,
of which many copies are available.
Every day now, as Percy grows
into the beauty of his life, we touch
his wild, curly head and say,

"Oh, wisest of little dogs."

What's cooking

I have already started stage 1 of this and will be starting the process of baking this.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

Book Review: Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

I finished reading this today & posted the following review on GoodReads:


This is a love story: the love story of Steve Jobs and Apple. 

I say that because that really is the primary thread of this biography. If you don't like reading about technology, you will struggle in parts. If you do, then it is a fascinating, albeit long, read. Indeed, for the last few nights I would end up dreaming about some of Jobs & co.'s creative processes -- no small feat since I'm not an engineer :) 

Love him or hate him, Steve Jobs was a compelling personality and the primary reason why there is, I think, a sort of romanticism to Apple -- because he loved it. This book is receiving, rightly so, a lot of buzz and it really must be read by those who have spent any time in Silicon Valley as well as those who love Apple (or, for that matter, Pixar). 

A few standouts (of many): 1) The Woz is a sweetheart (which we already knew), 2) The perspective from one of Jobs' colleagues that his temper tantrums (to put it nicely) are expressions of passion. I think that helped the reader see where that kind of behavior came from. And truly, passion was both Jobs' strength and his weakness. 

Isaacson did a lovely job drawing the themes together, putting harsh light on Jobs while still letting him shine. Well done.

Quote of the Day

“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”
― Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol: In His Own Words

Quote of the Day

Ben Franklin: "Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt they have more need of masters." 

Quote of the Day

“Sometimes we say that no other success can compensate for our failures in the home. And while it is true that no other success of ours can fully compensate, there is a success that compensates for all our failures, after all we can do in good faith. That success is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. By its power, we may arise from the ashes of life filled with incomprehensible beauty and joy”

Bruce C. Hafen

I knew October would be a challenging month, but it still exceeded my expectations. I thought about doing a post mortem here but I think it's best for me to just move on :)

With that out of the way, I'm very grateful it's November! Here are some things I am looking forward to:

• getting together with some old friends
• going to a new book club
• not traveling
• celebrating Thanksgiving

Quote of the Day

John Adams: "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. Is is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

One Year

• Bruce and I celebrated one year of marriage on Sunday. To celebrate we took it easy and went to lunch in Los Gatos. While we were there we went to Icing on the Cake (bakery) and got a couple of cakes. One was banana with cream cheese icing and the other was chocolate with chocolate icing. We shared them with friends on Sunday night. It was really fun to host them and both of the cakes were delicious!
• Work is supremely busy for me this month. I am traveling to Bakersfield (by car) next week to do training for a customer and to Las Vegas (by plane) the week after for our annual users conference. I will be conducting 2 days worth of sessions, so I'm very busy preparing for that in addition to my day job. I managed to escape a nasty death by PowerPoint, for which Bruce is graceful.
• Bruce and I have started having Family Story Time each night. Since we've started reading our scriptures together in the morning, instead of at night, it's been even better! So far we've read The Hobbit, Dealing with Dragons, and we're halfway through The Secret Garden. We take turns reading the book, so Bruce is reading this one aloud and he does the greatest Yorkshire accents! I love it!
• We are hoping to plan a great trip for next year - something that is a bit of a splurge and that is more relaxing than adventurous (although exotic is not ruled out). Suggestions are welcome :)

Quote of the Day

Sometimes we may feel that our spiritual edge has grown dull. On some very trying days, we may even feel that God has forgotten us, has left us alone in our confusion and concern. God knows and loves us all. We are, every one of us, his daughters and his sons, and whatever life’s lessons may have brought us, the promise is still true: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5.)
- Howard W. Hunter

Quote of the Day

Samuel Adams: "Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt."

#53: Visit all 50 states

Remember this? Since going to Yellowstone, I've added 2 states to the mix - doesn't the Western US look much better now? I just need 3 more states to be half way to this goal and luckily I am giving myself longer than my 30th birthday to finish it :) Which states should I do next? I think Alaska should be on the list, for sure..

visited 22 states (44%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

#50 Visit Crater Lake, Oregon

View from the hike at Cleetwood Cove (National Park photo)

I was hoping to include some of the awesome pictures Bruce took when we went to Crater Lake the weekend after Labor Day, but I don't have them available yet. I'll update the post later to share them with posterity.

This was a glorious trip!

Bruce and I took Thursday and Friday off of work and drove the 8-9 hour trip up to Crater Lake National Park (near Medford, Oregon). It was a beautiful drive and we got to our campsite quite late. We car camped for 3 nights, and had 2 full days at the park.

The first day we drove around the rim (33 miles) and stopped at all of the overlooks (okay most of them). We took a picnic lunch and met a delightful retired couple. Since it was after Labor day, most of the tourists we saw were international visitors or older couples -- fewer families now that school is in.

Plaikni Falls (stock photo from Portland hiking site)

We went to the pinnacles and did a short (new) hike to a waterfall called Plaikni Falls. Then we returned to our campsite and played Rummikub, made s'mores and banana boats. It was the only night we had a fire, so we had to have all of our campfire treats that night :)

Day 2, we woke up early to go to our scheduled boat tour at Cleetwood Cove. It's one of the only trails that takes you down inside the rim along the lake. It's a very steep trail, but it was a beautiful morning and the trail is mostly in shade, so we enjoyed the hike down.

View from the western rim looking down on Wizard Island
(stock photo from a sacred destinations site. heh)

This was one of the highlights of the trip. I highly recommend that anyone who goes to Crater Lake do the boat tour -- specifically the one that drops you off at Wizard Island for 3 hours! It was so awesome! It is spectacular to be down inside the rim. After 30 minutes on a not very impressive boat, they drop you off on Wizard Island -- some folks fished, but most hiked to the summit. We did and picnicked at the top. It was fantastic! Also, I convinced Bruce to jump into the lake with me (twice!) It was cold, but it did not take the breath out of you, so I think that was actually pretty warm considering what we were prepared for :) Then the rangers picked us up and we still had about an hour on the boat touring the rim - we saw waterfalls, caves, and the Phantom Ship.

We ended the trip with a hike up to Watchman Peak at sunset. Then Sunday morning we drove home and stopped for church in Klamath Falls. It was a wonderful trip and our first of many family camping trips!

Quote of the Day

It comes only by saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don't get on the wrong track or try to do too much... It's only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.

- Steve Jobs, referring to innovation; but I would say this applies to personal greatness

What we did (in August)

My precious sister-in-law Kristy with the Teton wildflower bouquet we collected for Bruce's mom

• Witnessed our dear friend Sarah's wedding to our dear friend Jed. Happiness! (and pictures)
• Went to Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, and Montana (barely) with the whole Christensen crew! 
• This included the beautiful Tetons, going to Yellowstone for the first (but NOT the last!) time, and family pictures :)
• I got some mild excema reaction between the fingers of my left hand. Traveling to Utah and Idaho only aggravated this*, sadly, so I had it throughout our vacation. :( 
• Bruce got very ill the day before we came home (Tuesday) **. Turns out he had an infection, but he is in good shape now with the antibiotics he got from our awesome doctor. Hooray for Dr. Tong!
• Not even a week after getting home, Bruce is off to Tahoe with his coworkers (for some reason Google did not invite spouses. Lame!). He left this morning.
• Bruce and I went without sugar in August. I went back on today and almost died.***

*Within 2 days of returning to California it cleared up. Truly California is the promised land.

**102.6 degree fever. No joke.

***I was placing an order for our anniversary cake**** and picking up some cupcakes for a friend's birthday at Icing on the Cake in Los Gatos when I decided to treat myself to the cookie dough cupcake. Big mistake. I couldn't eat another bite until another hour later, it was so overwhelmingly sweet. I had to pace myself and I just finished eating the last bite now -- 4 hours later. Unprecedented.
****I know, right? Just 6 weeks away!

Quote of the Day

There must be more to life than having everything!
Maurice Sendak

Quote of the Day

The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life.
Robert Louis Stevenson

#30 Witness Stuart's temple marriage

The happy couple!

Last weekend Bruce and I flew to St. Louis, Missouri to attend Stuart's wedding to Barbara Wittwer. It was extremely hot and humid, but St. Louis is so beautiful and green. We loved meeting the Wittwers, who are an incredibly sweet family, and we are so excited that Barb is now in our family!

Classic: beautiful Barbara and silly Stu :)

 We were so happy to have so many of my cousins come to St. Louis for the occasion! My Thomas cousins Glenn (with his wife Cindy & their beautiful boys + girl) and Melanie came as well as Jacob (with his wife Veronica and their sweet girls). On my mom's side (the Bradshaws), Hyrum and his wife Rae came. Jacob and my cousin Hyrum are two of Stuart's closest cousins, so it was so wonderful that they could both be there! Also, my adopted brother Dave Hodgman was there, so it really was complete.

The darling daughters of my cousin Jacob & his wife Veronica

It may seem silly to have my siblings' weddings on my list, but they really are some of the most important events I have had and hope to have in life. My brothers and sisters are some of my best friends and I love and admire all of them. It is wonderful to know that Stuart will have a best friend in Barb.

FHE Report

Bruce and I try to do a family evening on Monday nights, although sometimes we do them on Tuesdays.

This week we planned more in advance than we usually do. The goal is to sing a hymn (we started from hymn #1 and are going straight through -- sometimes we sing the same hymn two weeks in a row to be sure we really learn it!), pray, have a lesson and an activity.

This week's assignments were as follows:

Hymn: 18 - The Voice of God Again is Heard

Prayer: Karren

Lesson: --this was delivered late because my brother Gordon stopped by and our activity was time sensitive -- Bruce referenced Elder Porter's address in the June 2011 Ensign - Defending the Family in a Troubled World

Activity: We went to Santana Row and saw Midnight in Paris

Treat: We went to The Cheesecake Factory and got some small plates to share

We really enjoyed the movie! It had lots of references to American writers and artists from the 20s and the Hemingway references were especially delightful. It was one of the milder PG-13 movies we have seen in awhile. It was a fun, light movie -- perfect for a date.

#40: Ride in a Hot Air Balloon

Happy Birthday, Bruce!

Bruce and I drove to Petaluma (up north in wine country, southwest of Napa) on Friday night. We had a really nice dinner at Le Bistro and then we planned on a sunrise hike on Saturday morning (Bruce's birthday). What better way to greet a birthday than with the sun?

What Bruce didn't know was that we were actually going to go on a hot air balloon ride. I couldn't figure out how to wake him up at 4:15AM, but luckily he has talked about a sunrise hike for awhile, so I lucked out!

While it was quite thrilling to drive up and see the huge balloons, the ride itself was very serene -- you really do just drift and float. That day we just explored the area and then settled down to watch "UP!" :)

Here is the slideshow of the ride:

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Bruce's birthday and also marks 9 months of marriage for us. It's amazing how much life has accelerated and how quickly one adapts to change. I love being married to Bruce and am grateful that he is my partner in life and beyond!

After work today I'm surprising Bruce with a trip out of town (within driving distance). It was fun telling him to pack a bag without him knowing exactly where we're going. It's not really anything exotic, but it's fun to be able to go away together on an adventure!

Have a great weekend!

What we did (over the last two weeks)

Two Karrens together!

• Visited my first niece Audrey Karren Lyle on her birthday.*
• [I] co-hosted an epic*** bridal shower for a beloved past roommate Sarah O. Bruce took the pictures and witnessed his first (and last) bridal shower.
• Celebrated my brother Gordon getting a job after a two year hiatus. Hooray!
• [I] made this cake twice.****
• [I] worked a gazillion hours (including past midnight in the office on Friday). yuck.
• [Both] enjoyed work holidays on Tuesday, July 5th -- and borrowed my dad's convertible to celebrate.
• Celebrated my best friend Andie's birthday!
• Had the obligatory ribs, swimming, root beer floats, and flag-raising breakfasts that come with Independence Day.
• Biked to Shoreline Amphitheater on the Fourth and saw the San Francisco symphony along with amazing fireworks!
• [I] got a haircut with like 5-6 inches cut off. 
• Visited with two friends from out of town, Christina and her fiance Victor (in town from Chicago) who had come out for our wedding in October and Inki & Robert (in town from Norway with their beautiful little girls). It was great catching up!

*Which happens to be Friday, June 24th**

**Which anniversary she shares with my sister-in-law Amanda!

***Epic in both how happy it was and in how tired we were afterwards

****Bruce likes it served with whipped cream and fresh strawberries. I like it best plain the next day.

Cause I'm a sucker for internet visuals

I got this via my cousin Alice via her SIL Ashley. Let's keep in mind that until my senior year of high school I had only been to 4 states: Arizona, California, Utah, and Hawaii. And I had been to 3 countries: US, Mexico, Australia. I've added 16 states and 2 countries since then. Don't you think I should add more countries to the mix? I do :)

Here are the states I've visited so far:

visited 20 states (40%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

And countries:

visited 5 countries (2.22%)
Create your own visited map of The World

A few things

1. On Friday my older brother Gordon signed an offer for full-time employment! After 2 years, 2 months of contract / part-time work since graduating with his MBA, we are extremely grateful! He starts on Monday - hooray!
2. I paid my deposit for the cruise in February 2012!! I am going with some high school / church friends from Saratoga / LG as a celebration of our 30th birthdays.
3. I found a spot behind the laurel hedge in our yard that is PERFECT for a discreet clothesline. This could save us $15-20 a month! (Our coin-op laundry is very expensive - $1.25-$2.00 / load - and we do 2-3 loads a week.)
4. I burned myself with the curling iron yesterday. It looked scandalous*, but only hurt for an hour or so.

*And, naturally, I burned the right side of my neck - the side that faces the entire congregation** when I play the organ.

**Do not you worry! I was able to strategically place my hair such that I think my burn escaped detection. ;-)

#49: Buy a Bicycle

I just crossed #49 off of my list - Bruce and I found a bike on Craig's List on Memorial day and now I am just riding all over the place!

So far I've completed 20 or 21 out of the 50 I've defined so far! My goal is to complete 25 by my 30th birthday and to add the next dozen or so (I purposely haven't defined all 100 as I want to give room to develop new goals).

Here is what I'm working on now:

• #8 - Go Rock Climbing
• #16 - Go on a Cruise
• #30 - Witness Stuart's Temple Marriage :)
• #45 - Learn to Play the Organ Using Pedals
• #50 - Visit Crater Lake, Oregon

Since the proposed cruise is technically after my birthday (even though it's in the same month!), I need to come up with one more that I could accomplish in the next 7 months or so - I want to plan on beating my goal of 25 by a few, so that there is NO risk I'll miss it! I'm thinking #33...

Things I'm Looking Forward To

• Riding my bike tonight
• Eating the strawberries, brie and walnuts that are waiting for me at home.
• The pending niece that has almost, ALMOST arrived...
• My haircut scheduled for next month.
• My baby brother Stuart's wedding in a month! (!!)
• Sarah's and Jed's wedding in August! (!!)
• Christensen family vacation in August*
• Crater Lake in September
• Spending Christmas in Portland**

*In Which I Will Take Off 7 Days From Work.
**In Which I Will Take Off 5 Days From Work.

Things that make me happy

<3

(in no particular order)

1. Sleeping 10 hours at night*
2. Riding my bike =)
3. Being married to Bruce
4. Cooking dinner
5. Flowers
6. Reading / listening / watching GC talks, Mormon.org profiles and Mormon Messages**
7. Being with my nephews (see picture)
8. Google Docs
9. Talking to extended family on the phone***
10. Having a clean house

*One of Bruce's 'surprises' when he married me
**I have found that when I don't do this, I'm not happy.
***Poor man's alternative to being with them....

This Week

• Bought a bike on Craigslist
• Bruce fixed it up tonight :)
• Did wedding planning / helping (Stu's wedding)
• Bought a new pair of jeans -- I'm finally getting used to the new weight / body I have with birth control. My only real complaint is that half of my wardrobe doesn't work right now... (okay two: and the heartburn side effect. So happy to have Zantac and tums!)
• Planned Bruce's birthday surprise -- so excited about this!
• Punched the numbers and confirmed that nothing has changed -- we still will never be able to afford a house in the Bay Area. heh.
• Caught & beat a cold.
• Caught my youngest nephew FINALLY calling me "Kawen"* (instead of "Bruce").

*He's not the only one to miss the 'r's. A few months ago Bruce and I signed up to help clean our church building on a Saturday morning. When the sign-ups went around the following week, someone had typed out previous sign-ups and mine read "Kawen Christensen." 

Pixar Surprise

[Email sent 17 October 2009 to some former roommates of mine]

I am lying on a couch in the ladies restroom of the Oakland Interstake Center. My feet have healing ant bites from my uncle's grave dedication and so I find it particularly soothing to jam the right one between the hard arm and the seat cushion. I am taking a break from the two temple shifts I am working today and will return shortly to iron my hair and eat in the cafeteria.

But first I'm providing an update on last evening to you.

Last night started appropriately with Bruce and I meeting at Melville* for an evening run during which we relied heavily upon our inner compasses. Bruce runs in his glasses. After the run Bruce asked me when we could go out again. I wavered slightly in my reply because I am going to Arizona for a week (a week!) starting on Monday but told him that tonight or tomorrow would work. With that we decided we would meet back at my house to watch a movie.

So Bruce arrived and selected Monsters, Inc. I sat down on the couch while he negotiated the DVD player and when he came to join me he sat directly right immediately just next to me on my left.

I wasn't making my hand too available neither was he making the move he was clearly intent upon (seriously? But yes, he was intent. This much was clear) and when my feet were getting cold I threw caution to the wind and grabbed a blanket.

"Do you want a blanket?" I asked. He answered enthusiastically. And with one deft motion grabbed one end of the blanket to pull to his side with one arm and pulled me into him with the other. Not long after that he put his other arm around me and over my hand.

And so I found myself watching pixar in the arms of one BC.

Shortly after he left he sent me the following text:

1. If you walk out your front door and look to the right, you'll see Orion at the end of your street.
2. You rock.

Love
kt

*Melville is the name of a home I shared with the aforementioned roommates for 2 years.

Good Morning

Breakfast

Drinking at least 2 of these a day

Gift from Bruce =)

Holiday!

My company randomly gave us Friday as a holiday this week. Words cannot express my happiness!

Bruce still has to go to work (bummer) and, incidentally, has a scout campout that night. In the 6+ months we've been married, the only time we've spent apart has been when I've had business trips, so this will be quite the novelty: having 100% discretionary time by myself for ~30 hours.

I have a lot of ideas in my head, but I've decided to play it by ear and keep things relaxed. Here are a few things I'm considering:

• sleeping in (both Friday AND Saturday!)
• hiking "the dish" at Stanford, or maybe just 
• going for a run, or maybe
• getting a massage* at Courtside Club** in Los Gatos & then working out at their gym*** & maybe also using their amazing steam room with eucalyptus oil mmmmmm
• seeing my nephews
• cleaning out some files / papers
• seeing the new Jane Eyre in theaters****

*Let it be noted that Bruce gets free massages at Google (or heavily discounted at least) -- so I deserve one now, obviously.

**We got massages at Courtside Club last year for Bruce's birthday and pretty much that day was THE tipping point on us deciding to get hitched****, so you can see it's a good idea for me to go back to this place. 

***You get free access to the club (gym, steam room, pool...) when you buy spa services. Luckily, their massages are way more affordable than most spas since they are primarily a gym.
****Bruce has suggested I do this one without him. hehe

***** kinda kidding on that one - but only kinda.

Why I Wake Early by Mary Oliver

Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who made the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and the crotchety -

best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light -
good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.

6 Months

Bruce and I have been married 6 months as of last Saturday. To celebrate, we went to Arizona to attend the wedding of our mutual friend Benj Christensen. We are so happy for him and Meg :)

Photo lifted from Chris Perry's facebook. Thanks, Chris :)

It was fun to reflect on our wedding day 6 months ago - our ceremony, the day, the wonderful honeymoon afterward - and to hope the best for these two. Their wedding dinner was rather fabulous and the bride was beautiful. It was great seeing Benj's family again (since my surprise visit to them in Vienna almost 2 years ago!) as well as my grandparents, my Uncle Richard's family, and my Aunt Mary's family (with whom we stayed while in town).

Our First Date: Citrus Chiffon Cake

[An email sent on 16 October 2009] previous installment here.

High quality sifting by Bruce.

Yesterday I left work early to mop the kitchen floor & vacuum. I showered, put on eye-makeup, and wore a green v-neck with a jewel green cardigan and my strawberry necklace. I was barefoot. When Bruce arrived I had just finished flat-ironing my hair and I was on the phone with Strawbs. Bruce arrived with the following:

• a carton of orange juice
• 2 navel oranges
• 2 lemons
• 1 baguette
• 2 ears of corn
• 2 pints of strawberries

Bruce wore argyle socks and showed me how to prepare corn on the cob using his grandpa's method - the microwave. He had to redo the saran wrap I put on my corn because I didn't do it right ("I should have told you," he said). He glibly suggested we put cajun seasoning on the corn if we had it - which of course we did - and proceeded to eat the corn, hulled strawberries, and baguette with strawberry jam.

After dinner we baked the citrus chiffon cake (which, Bruce informed me, is pronounced 'chiFFAW'). Bruce zealously grated the zest and I sifted the wheat. There were moments of hovering on both sides that were really, really great. Just general closeness.

Finally, we put the cake in the oven and made the citrus syrup. That was especially fun because the syrup was the color of Bruce's hair. We took turns stirring it over the oven and while we prepared it Margie and Steph came home and came to visit us in the kitchen. It was so fun to have them there and there was lots of laughing and general merriment. The kitchen smelled delicious and Margie used her finger to eat the cake batter we saved her in a very small yellow bowl.

We were supposed to wait for the cake and syrup to cool entirely, but we didn't want to wait, so we decided to cool the syrup in the sink by placing it in ice water. That, my friends, is a two person job. Holding the pan steady and stirring it. And not a lot of space, but it is MOST DEFINITELY a two person job. Or, I should say, it's more fun with two people.

And then Bruce had his moment to sift the sugar on the cake. And we got out my white china plates and we all sat down to eat our cake. Steph took the first bite and simply laughed with delight. Margie started dipping her cake in milk, then pouring the syrup in her milk. Then asking shyly for another piece.

Bruce and I did the dishes together and then he took about half of the remaining cake & syrup home.

And last night I sent Bruce a series of pictures I took on my iphone (including the one I sent you), to which he responded:

Mmm... so delicious.
I think that might have been the best date I've been on all year—and it wasn't just the cake. :)

love

kt

Dow Wilson's Meddling

 [An email sent to past roommates on 14 October 2009] Previous installment here.

Dears. I had a splendid time at the camp out. It was lovely. MH was charming and the weather was fine.

I carpooled with Scott R and Bruce C and spent most of my weekend with Bruce. We went on the 10.5 mile long hike, during which Tim H delighted us all. Tim H! What a joy! I never knew. So great.

The group on the 10.5 mile hike.
Bruce is (of course) the one jumping in the background.

Saturday night at dinner, Bishop Dow Wilson (newly released*, as you know) was teasing in a rollicking fashion. He put his right arm around me and said, 'Bruce, this is a good woman.' Then he proceeded to put his left arm around Bruce and said, 'Karren, this is a good man.' Looking at Bruce, 'Bruce, have you ever taken this woman out on a date? Now that I'm released I can say whatever I want.' Bruce replied with a twinkle, 'Oh I'm planning on it.' They looked at me expectantly, and so I blushed and said, 'Well, I do love redheads...!'**

We then proceeded to the skit night and then to stargazing. At stargazing I was rather freezing and so after laying on our backs to look at Cassiopeia, et al, we all rolled onto our bellies to look at the Zodiac. I was still freezing and shivering and Bruce put his arm around me. I was surprised, but it was really, really great. It was just lovely to be at the top of this hill, in the public anonymity of the night, looking at the stars with a boy who loves rockets.

He put his arm around me during Sacrament meeting*** again (as MH and Dan C have noted since), and Monday night I received the following text:

Bruce: Hi kt! Did you make it to Arizona?
Karren: I did :) i made it in just before noon. How is it being back in the office?
Bruce: Just fine, but not as good as camping.
Bruce: So, I was thinking now that we have the official Dow Wilson stamp of approval, maybe we should plan a date.
Karren: Haha yes that was awesome! What are you thinking?
Bruce: Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs sometime this week(end)? Or we could go on a little orange chiffon cake-making adventure.
Karren: Those both sound fabulous - I vote cake baking !! (!!)

And then last night we talked after tutoring at the institute and rather awkwardly (think cute-awkward) discussed a date/time. We talked later on the phone (less awkwardly) and the date is fixed for Thursday at 6pm.

Context: Once during home teaching I made devilled eggs for my home teachers (reminder: Bruce is one of my home teachers). They were appalled that my giant cookbook has no pictures. I was appalled that they thought pictures necessary and insisted on reading the Citrus Chiffon Cake recipe to them to prove that the words would paint a better picture of the possibilities.

I love you all. All.

kt

*In Mormon vernacular, one is called to and released from callings (e.g. Bishop, sunday school teacher, organist).
**I should note here that Dow Wilson is himself famously a redhead. As is his wife. And all 7 of his children.
***Sacrament Meeting is the main worship service on Sundays during which we partake of the Sacrament (similar to communion). 


Next installment here.

The reluctant resignation

It's true, I quit. Not my job, but my temple shift.

I started working at the Oakland Temple back in 2008. I would take the San Mateo bridge to Oakland every Wednesday afternoon to work the evening shift for all of 2009 until work made it prohibitive. In 2010 I just went once a month on Spanish night. Even just going monthly, I missed seeing my fellow workers (now friends) there and so after the wedding & holidays, I decided to try going back to my weekly shift in January 2011.

I found, however, that working full time and commuting up to a full shift at the temple once a week is not a good mix for me. I am proud of myself for taking better care of what I commit to, but it is also sad to feel that I can't keep up with all of the things I used to do. We had a great lesson in our women's meeting at church a few weeks ago about comparisons - one of the women pointed out that in addition to comparing ourselves to others, comparing ourselves to what we "used to be" is also unhelpful. I find that is often a temptation for me - it is very tempting to judge myself harshly for not being able to burn the candle at both ends with no obvious consequence like I used to. Ah, the glory days...

I have loved being an ordinance worker. It was such a gift to work there after all of the stress of Prop 8. I had wanted to work at the temple for over a year and finally I had my opportunity when that assignment was over. I loved having the temple be a normal part of my life. I loved learning the ordinances intimately and I am so happy that I got to learn them in Spanish. I especially loved my shift and that they worked with me when I was very much single, then dating, then engaged, and finally a newlywed. I know they are all invested in my happiness and I am sad that I won't be seeing them regularly.

I am grateful that I had this time and I know that it is right for it to end now. I look forward to the future when I will get to work in the temple again. :)