Stress Buster #3

Don't rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.

I've gotten worse at this since using Google Calendar, because it's not very well integrated with my iPhone, nor is it integrated with my work calendar. I'm doing better about looking at my Google Calendar, but it is a challenge.

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Stress Buster #2

Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.

I do this on the days I go to the office (as opposed to the days I work from home) and I love it. I lay out my clothes just like I used to do as a kid (for the first day of school, at least). I put everything I need by the door so that I can grab it on my way out (bag, water bottle, computer).

Life after the wedding

One of the reasons I haven't blogged much since Bruce and I got married is that there has been so much change, change that I don't really know how to embrace.

I love being married to Bruce and I love having our own apartment and making our own life together, but almost everything else about getting married and being newly married has been very challenging.

When we were first married, work got very busy and I got a serious case of 'senioritis' - where all I wanted was to quit my job and be a stay at home wife. It felt very strange to want that so strongly, and I was really depressed with having such a discrepancy in what I wanted and what I was doing. Of course, I wasn't really going to quit my job and live off of Bruce's income, but it was what I wanted and so I just felt guilty and frustrated.

Then, I gained a lot of weight after getting married and I was very insecure socially with my old friends from the singles ward as well as new friends I was meeting at church.

Which was the final challenge, really. Even now, Bruce and I haven't really made friends with anyone at church. There are many people I admire and everyone is friendly, but every now and then when I stumble across a blog of someone at church, I see all of these parties & get-togethers with other people in our ward (including members who are newer than we are), and I don't want to be covetous or sad, but I do feel a little left out and lonely. I know we aren't even party people, per se, but it's hard to go from a single ward where everyone is always invited (for the most part) to a family ward where church and social life seem very, very separate.

Things have been getting better. I spoke to a counselor late last year to talk through some of the frustrations I had been having, and that helped a lot. I feel much better about my job and how to draw boundaries so that even if it's busy I don't feel trapped. I am very grateful to have the job that I have, even though I don't *love* it. I have great co-workers, great benefits, and lots of flexibility. My manager acknowledges all of the good work I do and is not overly critical for the mistakes I make. He is very supportive and I couldn't be luckier. The Lord has led me throughout my career to better and better situations and I know He is still with me.

I probably should have expressed this throughout the last year and a half, but I was embarrassed and didn't really know what to write. I didn't really understand the reactions I was having and felt weird that I was so happy being married and yet so sad about the change that was happening. Even when I could count my blessings and knew that my life wasn't 'that hard,' it still felt hard.

One good change coming up: I turn 30 in a few weeks! So crazy, but I'm really excited! It's strange to be getting so old and realize how young I am, too :) haha

The Purist by Ogden Nash

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."

Stress Buster #1

Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.

I have this collection of 52 stress busters that I found online at Texas Woman's University and I love them! I am going to post them once a week so that I can think about them and refer to them. Let's be honest, this blog is more for my benefit than for yours. (sorry about that). Also, I really liked this article '9 Reasons to Wake up Early' and am going to study it in addition to stress busters.

I Am Cherry Alive by Delmore Schwartz

“I am cherry alive,” the little girl sang,
“Each morning I am something new:
I am apple, I am plum, I am just as excited
As the boys who made the Hallowe’en bang:
I am tree, I am cat, I am blossom too:
When I like, if I like, I can be someone new,
Someone very old, a witch in a zoo:
I can be someone else whenever I think who,
And I want to be everything sometimes too:
And the peach has a pit and I know that too,
And I put it in along with everything
To make the grown-ups laugh whenever I sing:
And I sing It is true; it is untrue;
I know, I know, the true is untrue,
The peach has a pit, and the pit has a peach:
And both may be wrong when I sing my song,
But I don’t tell the grown-ups: because it is sad,
And I want them to laugh just like I do
Because they grew up and forgot what they knew
And they are sure I will forget it some day too.
They are wrong. They are wrong. When I sang my song, I knew, I knew!
I am red, I am gold, I am green, I am blue,
I will always be me, I will always be new!”

Percy (One) by Mary Oliver

Percy

(One)

Our new dog, named for the beloved poet,
ate a book which unfortunately we had
left unguarded.
Fortunately, it was the Bhagavad Gita,
of which many copies are available.
Every day now, as Percy grows
into the beauty of his life, we touch
his wild, curly head and say,

"Oh, wisest of little dogs."