Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

I'm in the midst of reading this book and I want to mark several passages so that I can remember them. Hopefully some of you will like them as much as I do.


The following passages highlight Frankl's conclusions on finding meaning in life:

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. (page 75)

An active life serves the purpose of giving man the opportunity to realize values in creative work, while a passive life of enjoyment affords him the opportunity to obtain fulfillment in experiencing beauty, art, or nature. But there is also purpose in that life which is almost barren of both creation and enjoyment and which admits of but one possibility of high moral behavior: namely, in man's attitude to his existence, an existence restricted by external forces. A creative life and a life of enjoyment are banned to him. But not only his creativeness and enjoyment are meaningful. If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete. (page 76)

I once read a letter written by a young invalid, in which he told a friend that he had just found he would not live for long, that even an operation would be of no help. He wrote further that he remembered a film he had seen in which a man was portrayed who waited for death in a courageous and dignified way. The boy had thought it a great accomplishment to meet death so well. Now—he wrote—fate was offering him a similar chance. (page 77) 

Details of a particular man's inner greatness may ... come to [your] mind*, like the story of the young woman whose death I witnessed in a concentration camp. It is a simple story. There is little to tell and it may sound as if I had invented it: but to me it seems like a poem.

This young woman knew that she would die in the next few days. But when I talked to her she was cheerful in spite of this knowledge. "I am grateful that fate has hit me so hard," she told me. "In my former life I was spoiled and did not take spiritual accomplishments seriously." Pointing through the window of the hut, she said, "This tree here is the only friend I have in my loneliness." Through that window she could see just one branch of a chestnut tree, and on the branch were two blossoms. "I often talk to this tree," she said to me. I was startled and didn't quite know how to take her words. Was she delirious? Did she have occasional hallucinations? Anxiously I asked her if the tree replied. "Yes." What did it say to her? She answered, "It said to me, 'I am here—I am here—I am life, eternal life.'" 

 *One that comes to my mind is my dear friend Kate who faced long months of pain with dignity and faith until her eventual death.

Unstructured Time

One of the things on my mind quite a bit summer of 2009 was how to have more unstructured time in my life.

I had been working long hours, traveling for business, teaching a summer institute course (including writing my own lesson plans), teaching gospel doctrine, and tutoring. I had finished my third move for the year and had just returned from a trip to Europe. I was burned out.

I have always struggled with giving myself alone time and not over-committing myself. I have also always struggled with exercising regularly. I felt that perhaps these two things were connected. I wasn't prioritizing exercise enough because I was crowding it out with other things.

I remembered a church conference address that had given counsel to parents to not structure their kids' schedules too much and I realized that if I couldn't do that for myself now, then I couldn't expect to do it for my (theoretical) kids.

I spent much of the summer trying to change and found it extremely challenging. I decided I had to retrench socially to get my life in order. Many of my friends were concerned that I wasn't prioritizing my social life (I was, after all 27!) but I knew that I needed to slow myself down. I felt good about skipping social activities to attend my yoga class and go to bed early.

In August, when my home teachers asked me if they could do anything to help me, I confided that I was struggling to find a way to run regularly. I told them I had always struggled with making time to exercise - and now I was concerned because it was starting to get dark and that was just another barrier to overcome.

My home teacher Nathan suggested that I just do what I could each day - even if it's just a 5 minute walk or jog. My home teacher Bruce, the quieter of the two, offered to run with me.

I was pleased with both of their answers - and promptly accepted Bruce's offer to go running together. We ran the next evening in the baylands.

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Postscripts

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Bruce's motives
I felt instinctively that Bruce's offer to run with me was not an attempt to pursue me, but just a way to help me and at the same time be more physically active himself. I felt that and so I trusted him. I had never run with a man before (nor had any desire to), but I felt at ease with him.

(By the way, Bruce confirmed later that he really did just want to run to help in his training to hike Mt. Rainier. HA! I was right!)

How this changed me
I know I would not have had time for a relationship prior to giving myself more unstructured time. I might have made formal dates a priority, but I simply would have been too busy for the casual shared time that is required to build the friendship that should be the foundation of any strong relationship.

Next installment here.

Tabula Rasa

I've been thinking about the past year and a half - already so many of my memories of my and Bruce's dating, courtship, and engagement are starting to fade. I've decided to blog about what I learned from those experiences to document them. If along the way any of you few, but beloved, readers have questions, feel free to post them in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them.

Dating Bruce was easy, natural, and simple, but it also required a lot of change on my part. I had no idea of this up front, of course, and some of the changes took place before we even started dating.

For instance, in the spring of 2009 I felt very strongly that I needed to either walk through or close the "open doors" I had with various men in my life. I felt this so strongly that I went through a process of taking steps to walk through those open doors -- and each time I approached each one, either something in my heart or something I observed in him closed it for me.

It wasn't easy, but opportunities arrived. I saw some of my ex-boyfriends who were still single, spent time with some with whom the timing had never been right. In all of the cases, I consciously felt that I wasn't interested and neither were they. I let those "possibilities" go and by the time Bruce and I were spending time together in September, my heart was a blank slate, and as a result, I think, ready.

Dad's Life Lessons (Installment #2)

My brother-in-law ran in a half-marathon in Park City on Saturday. When my father inquired after his performance, he replied that he was very slow. It was at this point that I joined the conversation:

kt: "well, slow and steady wins the race!"
dad: "no, slow and steady does not win the race."
family laughs
dad: "well, it doesn't."

Dad's Life Lessons