Theme in Yellow by Carl Sandburg

I SPOT the hills
With yellow balls in autumn.
I light the prairie cornfields
Orange and tawny gold clusters
And I am called pumpkins.
On the last of October
When dusk is fallen
Children join hands
And circle round me
Singing ghost songs
And love to the harvest moon;
I am a jack-o'-lantern
With terrible teeth
And the children know
I am fooling.

a poem by Emily Dickinson

The bustle in a house
The morning after death
Is solemnest of industries
Enacted upon earth.

The sweeping up the heart
And putting love away
We shall not want to use again
Until eternity.

At the End of This Summer by John Haines

I wonder if I frightened you,
Coming as I did from behind
As you sat alone in your chair
With the low sun melting over your head.
I couldn't imagine what you were
Looking at or thinking of--
You who have always been so lively
And little given to quiet--
And the desire to bend and kiss your hair
Was almost unbearable.
You turned,
With that air of half-astonishment
You use so well, I smiled a greeting.

After that, we sat and talked for a while
And enjoyed the departing light.
Then the warmth was gone,
And we rose, I to take my leave, and you
To close the door and pull the shade,
And turn to the lighting of a lamp,
The starting of a fire in the stove.

Remember Lot's Wife

My roommate of bygone years wrote a blog post on remembering Lot's wife and not looking back. The many comments by the readers were (as usual) inspiring and some of their comments reaffirmed something that I have been thinking about lately, which is that

God is always forward looking.

I think that’s how He tries to coach our thinking, our attitudes, and transform us. Rather than fret and fester over the past, move on and do better.

We see a great example of this in the story of Cain and Abel. When Cain’s offering is not accepted (Genesis 4), Cain ‘was very wroth and his countenance fell.’ Basically he got depressed, angry, and was sulking.

And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted?

Cain proceeds to give up trying to please God in spite of God's encouragement. I find that God's initial response to Cain is pretty consistent when I think about the things He says to me when I pray. It is always one of the following:
1. I love you. Thanks for praying.
2. You’re right, you shouldn’t have done that. Put it behind you.
3. Do this. (I can help you, just ask)
4. {Insert doctrine here}

He never says:
1. What took you so long. You never pray consistently.
2. I can’t believe you did that again.

I think the best record we have of conversations with God is found in Doctrine & Covenants. One of my favorite passages is a great case:

For, behold, you should not have feared man more than God. Although men set at naught the counsels of God, and despise his words— Yet you should have been faithful; and he would have extended his arm and supported you against all the fiery darts of the adversary; and he would have been with you in every time of trouble. ..if thou art not aware thou wilt fall. But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent … and thou art still chosen. (Doctrine & Covenants 3:7-10)

If that isn’t forward looking I don’t know what is.

#23. Run a 5k Race

Last night I ran the Palo Alto Moonlight Run 5k and it was lovely!

Firstly, the weather was perfect and we ran on the baylands. I felt pre-race giddiness.

Secondly, so many friends were there! Lots of children, an assortment of neighbors and members of the community. It was delightful to jog in place, smiling, laughing. My newly released Bishop D W came by after finishing the 5k walk with his two beaming red-headed daughters. They were pink-cheeked and smiled so sweetly.

And then! We were off! I felt the imminent danger of a human stampede, but as I moved with the crowd we suddenly reached the open air of the trail. I forgot my iPod, so I simply ran alone looking at the night, focusing on my breathing, finding my pace. The giddiness melted away and I heard snippets of conversations from my neighbors as they passed me, I passed them. It was beautiful to think of all the many hearts beating in their respective chests. Most runners had some kind of light source - a blinking red button, a headlamp, a glowing necklace or bracelet.

And when I reached the last mile, I picked up my pace praying that I wouldn't burn out. And when I reached the final 100 yards, I sprinted. I beat my previous time, I was greeted by and continued to greet arriving friends. I ate orange slices, quarters of bagel, and reveled in the satisfaction that I had officially completed #23 of my 100 Things (see right hand sidebar). I ran a 5k race (and enjoyed it)!