If there are any heavens my mother will(all by herself) have one by EE Cummings

for Mother, on her birthday

if there are any heavens my mother will(all by herself) have
one. It will not be a pansy heaven nor
a fragile heaven of lilies-of-the-valley but
it will be a heaven of blackred roses

my father will be(deep like a rose
tall like a rose)

standing near my

(swaying over her
silent)
with eyes which are really petals and see

nothing with the face of a poet really which
is a flower and not a face with
hands
which whisper
This is my beloved my

                             (suddenly in sunlight
he will bow,

& the whole garden will bow)

How Firm a Foundation

I only recently started contemplating the beauty of this hymn's verses. That our faith can be founded in God's word - that the word (as we read in Isaiah and throughout the scripture) is that he will succor us in every condition, sanctify our distress, and refine us. It is so beautiful. I especially love verses 4 and 5 (which, unfortunately, are rarely sung as they are 'optional' verses).

1

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord, is laid for your faith in his excellent word! What more can he say than to you he hath said, who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

2

In every condition - in sickness or in health, in poverty's vale or abounding in wealth, at home or abroad, on the land or the sea - as thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

3

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

4

When through the deep waters I call thee to go, the rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow, for I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

5

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, my grace all sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

7

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

[Attr. to Robert Keen]

Quote of the Day

This quote is from a conference where Brigham Young asked / commanded the saints to rescue the pioneers suffering as they travelled to Utah. I have been thinking about this quote in light of the current request / commandment from the First Presidency to the California saints to protect families by supporting Proposition 8.

“I will tell you all,” said he, “that your faith, religion, and profession of religion, will never save one soul of you in the celestial kingdom of our God, unless you carry out just such principles as I am now teaching you. Go and bring in those people now on the plains, and attend strictly to those things which we call temporal, or temporal duties, otherwise your faith will be in vain; the preaching you have heard will be in vain to you, and you will sink to hell, unless you attend to the things we tell you” (Deseret News, Oct. 15, 1856, 252).
Brigham Young

Pretty strong words, but I believe they are true. Our faith, religion, and profession of religion will not save us unless we carry out the principles they teach.

The Fist by Mary Oliver

There are days

when the sun goes down

like a fist,

though of course

if you see anything

in the heavens

in this way

you had better get

your eyes checked

or, better still,

your diminished spirit.

The heavens

have no fist,

or wouldn't they have been

shaking it

for a thousand years now,

and even

longer than that,

at the dull, brutish

ways of mankind --

heaven's own

creation?

Instead: such patience!

Such willingness

to let us continue!

To hear,

little by little,

the voices --

only, so far, in

pockets of the world --

suggesting

the possibilities

of peace?

Keep looking.

Behold, how the fist opens

with invitation.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

I've been thinking a lot about the Proclamation on the Family. I am going to post a bit on some of my thoughts over the next few days.

You can read the proclamation here:
http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html

Quote of the Day

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family.
Lee Iacocca

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-blankenhorn19-2008sep19,0,2093869.story

Quote of the Day

Live for it. Pray for it. Exercise faith that you will obtain it. The Lord will keep His promises.
Richard G. Scott

Sausalito

My sister Laura and I went to Sausalito last weekend. Laura started out with a mani/pedi at our favorite place (which also happens to be about 500 yards from my office), and then picked me up. We drove up through San Francisco, over the Golden Gate bridge, and took the first exit east to downtown. Even though it was overcast and drizzling, we were delighted with the beautiful sailboats and the charming mainstreet.


We found our bed & breakfast was in the heart of downtown. We checked into the very lovely Gables Inn. We had a 2-bedroom Suite "The Spruce Room":


I took a ridiculously hot bath before we went to our dinner reservation at The Spinnaker, where I ordered Sea Bass with mango & strawberry salsa. It was delicious. Laura ordered a very rich, heavy mahi with crab & brie. Wow.

We then returned early to talk late into the night (not that late) and slept a LONG while.

The next morning was a little frazzled as we found out that I had an allergic reaction to some cleaning agent / laundry / potpourri (SOMETHING) in the bed & breakfast. We had to (sadly) check out early as I was not feeling well. Luckily, it was all resolved in time for us to eat lunch at the Sausalito Bakery & Cafe. We shared a Tuna Melt and bowl of fruit before enjoying downtown window shopping & ice cream for the rest of the afternoon.


My mother was so good to help us find a reservation at the Four Seasons in Palo Alto for that night (so that we wouldn't have to cut our vacation short), and the price was half of what the B&B was, so we wrapped up our shopping and headed back to the Peninsula.

We returned crossing the Golden Gate Bridge (I took this from my iPhone)

We stopped in Menlo Park to eat dinner at Cafe Borrone and buy books at Kepler's (I splurged), and then checked into the Four Seasons.

We finished the evening snacking on the cheese, grapes, thinly sliced salami, bread & honeycomb, berries, and ginger ale we ordered from Room Service. Laura read Cold Comfort Farm, I read Thirst by Mary Oliver, and I took a golden bath (using the glittery gold bath melt from LUSH).

I'm ready for my next vacation.

Autumn Day by Rainer Maria Rilke

Lord: it is time. The summer was immense.
Lay your shadow on the sundials
and let loose the wind in the fields.

Bid the last fruits to be full;
give them another two more southerly days,
press them to ripeness, and chase
the last sweetness into the heavy wine.

Whoever has no house now will not build one
anymore.
Whoever is alone now will remain so for a long
time,
will stay up, read, write long letters,
and wander the avenues, up and down,
restlessly, while the leaves are blowing.

(Translated by Galway Kinnell and Hannah Liebmann, “The Essential Rilke” (Ecco))

Cartoon Physics, part 1 by Nick Flynn

Children under, say, ten, shouldn't know
that the universe is ever-expanding,
inexorably pushing into the vacuum, galaxies

swallowed by galaxies, whole

solar systems collapsing, all of it
acted out in silence. At ten we are still learning

the rules of cartoon animation,

that if a man draws a door on a rock
only he can pass through it.
Anyone else who tries

will crash into the rock. Ten-year-olds
should stick with burning houses, car wrecks,
ships going down -- earthbound, tangible

disasters, arenas

where they can be heroes. You can run
back into a burning house, sinking ships

have lifeboats, the trucks will come
with their ladders, if you jump

you will be saved. A child

places her hand on the roof of a schoolbus,
& drives across a city of sand. She knows

the exact spot it will skid, at which point
the bridge will give, who will swim to safety
& who will be pulled under by sharks. She will learn

that if a man runs off the edge of a cliff
he will not fall

until he notices his mistake.

to a red haired fox

soft and elusive
you slip and sneak through my gate
and into my heart

Of gchat and the great gatsby

I have often mused on the symbolism of the gchat "available" green dot and the green light of Daisy's dock in "The Great Gatsby." To the effect that I have, at times, put quotes from the novel as my gchat status. Such as the following:

KT "distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away"

across the expanse,
the sea of a dozen states,
your green light beckons

Tell me you, too, feel the romanticism of a flickering green light across the void.

Doctrine & Covenants 123:17

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

Ezekiel 3:1, 4, 6

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

Love Poem With Toast by Miller Williams

Some of what we do, we do
to make things happen,
the alarm to wake us up, the coffee to perc,
the car to start.

The rest of what we do, we do
trying to keep something from doing something,
the skin from aging, the hoe from rusting,
the truth from getting out.

With yes and no like the poles of a battery
powering our passage through the days,
we move, as we call it, forward,
wanting to be wanted,
wanting not to lose the rain forest,
wanting the water to boil,
wanting not to have cancer,
wanting to be home by dark,
wanting not to run out of gas,

as each of us wants the other
watching at the end,
as both want not to leave the other alone,
as wanting to love beyond this meat and bone,
we gaze across breakfast and pretend.

Quote of the Day

God is serious about joy.

i carry your heart with me by E E Cummings

for Melville

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                       i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Flashback: Melville

*photo by Strawbs

Quote of the Day

No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse.
Jeffrey R. Holland

Neglect by R T Smith

Is the scent of apple boughs smoking
in the woodstove what I will remember
of the Red Delicious I brought down, ashamed

that I could not convince its limbs to render fruit?
Too much neglect will do that, skew the sap's
passage, blacken leaves, dry the bark and heart.

I should have lopped the dead limbs early
and watched each branch with a goshawk's eye,
patching with medicinal pitch, offering water,

compost and mulch, but I was too enchanted
by pear saplings, flowers and the pasture,
too callow to believe that death's inevitable

for any living being unloved, untended.
What remains is this armload of applewood
now feeding the stove's smolder. Splendor

ripens a final time in the firebox, a scarlet
harvest headed, by dawn, to embers.
Two decades of shade and blossoms - tarts

and cider, bees dazzled by the pollen,
spare elegance in ice - but what goes is gone.
Smoke is all, through this lesson in winter

regret, I've been given to remember.
Smoke, and Red Delicious apples redder
than a passing cardinal's crest or cinders.

Quote of the Day

Do not rely on planning every event of your life - even every important event. Stand ready to accept the Lord's planning and the agency of others in matters that inevitably affect you.
Dallin H. Oaks

Numbers by Mary Cornish

for Brooke

I like the generosity of numbers.
The way, for example,
they are willing to count
anything or anyone:
two pickles, one door to the room,
eight dancers dressed as swans.

I like the domesticity of addition--
add two cups of milk and stir--
the sense of plenty: six plums
on the ground, three more
falling from the tree.

And multiplication's school
of fish times fish,
whose silver bodies breed
beneath the shadow
of a boat.

Even subtraction is never loss,
just addition somewhere else:
five sparrows take away two,
the two in someone else's
garden now.

There's an amplitude to long division,
as it opens Chinese take-out
box by paper box,
inside every folded cookie
a new fortune.

And I never fail to be surprised
by the gift of an odd remainder,
footloose at the end:
forty-seven divided by eleven equals four,
with three remaining.

Three boys beyond their mothers' call,
two Italians off to the sea,
one sock that isn't anywhere you look.

Update

My cousin Alice reported this on her blog today and I wanted to share it with all of you who have been praying for my cousin Christian and his wife Stephanie. Alice shared this report from my cousin Peter and his wife Darin, who visited Christian yesterday.

Christian was cinched up in his new back brace and strapped into a fancy chair when Peter and I saw him yesterday. He was in a sitting position after 17 days at "30 degree maximum" as he put it. (That's the most incline he is allowed in the bed.) It was so fun to hear his voice, though it's not quite his yet. He was laboring to talk and to stay alert, but he had his humor and was coherent.
As we were saying goodbye, he swelled with thanks for our visiting him and then he spoke so beautifully about prayer that I wrote it down after we left so I wouldn't forget. He said, "Thank you for the prayers. I feel them. I feel them. I've needed them more this past week [17 days, but who's counting :)] than I ever have in my life. And there have been times in here when I needed them so badly, and I could feel them. Keep them coming."

Christian's words remind me of this scripture:
"Pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." - James 5:16

This is reaffirmed more than ever.

There are days we live as if death were nowhere in the background

Joys:

1. family

2. scriptures / poetry
{Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. - Isaiah 12:3}
{How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind - li-young lee}
3. the earth - specifically California, Chicago, Melville, Los Gatos, trees, wind, rain, roses, fog, the marine layer, and cottages with windows
* pics by friend Samantha

Delights
1. the ways people are good
2. oranges

3. breakfast

Indulgences
1. cookies
2. singing
3. earrings

Random Sources of Satisfaction:
1. There is a disco ball hanging from my curtain rod at present
2. I have never had a broken bone, a bee sting, or stitches
3. I have almost 100 first cousins

craigslist phenomenon

8am - kt and her visiting teacher drag her queen bed out to the curb. post a free sign on it.
8:30am - kt posts the bed on craigslist for pickup.
12:30pm - kt returns from labor day breakfast to see if bed is picked up yet. sees two men putting it into a truck. one looks very, VERY familiar. Wait a second...

What are the odds that someone I know would come pick up something I posted on craigslist (without knowledge it was mine)?
And what are the odds that it would be my ex?
Picking it up for his current girlfriend?

hahahahahahaha