Thursday, January 20, 2011

Of Things That Matter Most by Dieter Uchtdorf

When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be.

We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

The wise resist the temptation to get caught up in the frantic rush of everyday life.

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.

Leonardo da Vinci is quoted as saying that “simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” 

I think most of us intuitively understand how important the fundamentals are. It is just that we sometimes get distracted by so many things that seem more enticing.

Printed material, wide-ranging media sources, electronic tools and gadgets—all helpful if used properly—can become hurtful diversions or heartless chambers of isolation.

We would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most.

If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most.

Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most.

You can read the talk here.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What we did

on Monday, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, AKA HOLIDAY!
  • slept in
  • made waffles
  • worked (boo) - I on work-work, Bruce programming a statistical analysis of the game Farkle so he can beat me at least once (hehe)
  • blew zubbles - one of my Christmas presents from Bruce :)
  • tasted the samples at Costco
  • visited my parents and exchanged a fake Christmas tree for some of my dad's tasty food
  • read a chapter of Silas Marner aloud.
  • ate at Five Guys Famous Burgers & Fries for the first time (meh)

Friday, January 14, 2011

Word for the new year

This blog post inspired me to think of a word I would like to use for 2011:

happiness

I want to have happiness in spite of uncertainty, stress, and especially in spite of my own imperfections. I know happiness is possible in all of these scenarios through faith in Jesus Christ. That being said, I am deliberately choosing happiness as the word rather than faith, so that I won't be tempted to focus on the inadequacy of my faith and how I am falling short, but rather to keep my focus on the fruits of faith - which are always available!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

A few things:

1. Bruce helped me put the strawberry in my header. It makes me happy.
2. Here are my goals this week:
  • walk for 10 minutes (5 days)
  • personal prayer daily
  • work from home only 2 days - not all 5 :)
 3. Things from my list I want to accomplish this year:
  • visit Yosemite
  • visit Norway
  • learn to code in python (changed this from javascript)
  • learn calligraphy
 I'll probably start revising / adding things to the list this year, too.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A growing fondness

Previous installment here.

When Bruce and I went running at the Baylands, I was surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. When we were alone together, he spoke more openly and was not as reserved as he was in our monthly home teaching visits.

I was very pleased when later that same week I got a text from him: "Been running lately?" I felt that I wasn't just a home teaching 'duty' and that he had also enjoyed our time together.

And so we went running that next Friday instead of going to the Mid-Singles (30+) conference. He ended up coming over to my house after our run and watched a movie with me. After the movie ended, we talked and talked into the wee hours of the morning.

That night when he left, I wondered why he had stayed so late talking to me. I wondered if he was even slightly interested in me. And then of course I wondered if I was even a little interested in him. My mind couldn't quite put us together, but I liked him. I felt rather fond of him, even. I decided that I would continue to spend time with him and not create a forced crush. That meant NOT talking to my girlfriends about him.

Even though I knew better than to talk to my friends about him, I just liked him a lot. So the following (abridged) gchat with my former roommate RM was, I suppose, inevitable.

She was already engaged to marry a redhead, so the segue was simple: I confided that I was, "rather fond of a red-head myself -- and rather fond is about its level."


gchat excerpt from 28 September 2009:

RM: 
why are you fond of bruce?
btw
his hair is not red
it defies color definition
it's like.....
orange
yellow
red
blue
green

me:
yeah
it's awesome
well we run together twice weekly
and I am just rather fond of him
that is all.

RM: 
oh yeah
is he fond of you?

me: 
oh, I think so.
we hug often
and we hung out the wknd of mid-singles conference
and he stayed until 2:15am talking with me
but I think it is simply mutual fondness
but I just find that I really look forward to seeing him
I had been wanting to tell someone but there isn't anything to tell
and I am okay with that, too
I mean I don't have anything I am driving towards
if that makes sense
in my head
or heart
no experiments

RM:
yeah
that makes sense
just growing fondness/attachment
sometimes that's a lovely way to go /feel

me: 
yes, it is good to have a friend
and I know he is my friend. so that is a great thing to me.

I think that my decision to just "wait and see" was possible because I had wiped my slate free, so to speak. In previous months or years, I think I would have just made a decision immediately and either have fed a premature crush or just blown him off. It was very pleasant - and refreshing - to have a simple affection for my new friend with, of course, just the tiniest bit of curiosity. :)

Next installment here.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Unstructured Time

One of the things on my mind quite a bit summer of 2009 was how to have more unstructured time in my life.

I had been working long hours, traveling for business, teaching a summer institute course (including writing my own lesson plans), teaching gospel doctrine, and tutoring. I had finished my third move for the year and had just returned from a trip to Europe. I was burned out.

I have always struggled with giving myself alone time and not over-committing myself. I have also always struggled with exercising regularly. I felt that perhaps these two things were connected. I wasn't prioritizing exercise enough because I was crowding it out with other things.

I remembered a church conference address that had given counsel to parents to not structure their kids' schedules too much and I realized that if I couldn't do that for myself now, then I couldn't expect to do it for my (theoretical) kids.

I spent much of the summer trying to change and found it extremely challenging. I decided I had to retrench socially to get my life in order. Many of my friends were concerned that I wasn't prioritizing my social life (I was, after all 27!) but I knew that I needed to slow myself down. I felt good about skipping social activities to attend my yoga class and go to bed early.

In August, when my home teachers asked me if they could do anything to help me, I confided that I was struggling to find a way to run regularly. I told them I had always struggled with making time to exercise - and now I was concerned because it was starting to get dark and that was just another barrier to overcome.

My home teacher Nathan suggested that I just do what I could each day - even if it's just a 5 minute walk or jog. My home teacher Bruce, the quieter of the two, offered to run with me.

I was pleased with both of their answers - and promptly accepted Bruce's offer to go running together. We ran the next evening in the baylands.

--------
Postscripts
--------

Bruce's motives
I felt instinctively that Bruce's offer to run with me was not an attempt to pursue me, but just a way to help me and at the same time be more physically active himself. I felt that and so I trusted him. I had never run with a man before (nor had any desire to), but I felt at ease with him.

(By the way, Bruce confirmed later that he really did just want to run to help in his training to hike Mt. Rainier. HA! I was right!)

How this changed me
I know I would not have had time for a relationship prior to giving myself more unstructured time. I might have made formal dates a priority, but I simply would have been too busy for the casual shared time that is required to build the friendship that should be the foundation of any strong relationship.

Next installment here.

Friday, January 07, 2011

p.s. the bread is delicious!

Tabula Rasa

I've been thinking about the past year and a half - already so many of my memories of my and Bruce's dating, courtship, and engagement are starting to fade. I've decided to blog about what I learned from those experiences to document them. If along the way any of you few, but beloved, readers have questions, feel free to post them in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them.

Dating Bruce was easy, natural, and simple, but it also required a lot of change on my part. I had no idea of this up front, of course, and some of the changes took place before we even started dating.

For instance, in the spring of 2009 I felt very strongly that I needed to either walk through or close the "open doors" I had with various men in my life. I felt this so strongly that I went through a process of taking steps to walk through those open doors -- and each time I approached each one, either something in my heart or something I observed in him closed it for me.

It wasn't easy, but opportunities arrived. I saw some of my ex-boyfriends who were still single, spent time with some with whom the timing had never been right. In all of the cases, I consciously felt that I wasn't interested and neither were they. I let those "possibilities" go and by the time Bruce and I were spending time together in September, my heart was a blank slate, and as a result, I think, ready.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen, I've baked my first loaves of bread!

In honor of my dear friend Kate, who encouraged me to achieve this goal and I know would have liked to be a part of it, I have finally baked my first loaves of bread! They are beautiful, I will be posting pictures soon, and we will see if they taste as good as they look. :)

Thank you. Thank you. I'm so happy!