A growing fondness

Previous installment here.

When Bruce and I went running at the Baylands, I was surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. When we were alone together, he spoke more openly and was not as reserved as he was in our monthly home teaching visits.

I was very pleased when later that same week I got a text from him: "Been running lately?" I felt that I wasn't just a home teaching 'duty' and that he had also enjoyed our time together.

And so we went running that next Friday instead of going to the Mid-Singles (30+) conference. He ended up coming over to my house after our run and watched a movie with me. After the movie ended, we talked and talked into the wee hours of the morning.

That night when he left, I wondered why he had stayed so late talking to me. I wondered if he was even slightly interested in me. And then of course I wondered if I was even a little interested in him. My mind couldn't quite put us together, but I liked him. I felt rather fond of him, even. I decided that I would continue to spend time with him and not create a forced crush. That meant NOT talking to my girlfriends about him.

Even though I knew better than to talk to my friends about him, I just liked him a lot. So the following (abridged) gchat with my former roommate RM was, I suppose, inevitable.

She was already engaged to marry a redhead, so the segue was simple: I confided that I was, "rather fond of a red-head myself -- and rather fond is about its level."


gchat excerpt from 28 September 2009:

RM: 
why are you fond of bruce?
btw
his hair is not red
it defies color definition
it's like.....
orange
yellow
red
blue
green

me:
yeah
it's awesome
well we run together twice weekly
and I am just rather fond of him
that is all.

RM: 
oh yeah
is he fond of you?

me: 
oh, I think so.
we hug often
and we hung out the wknd of mid-singles conference
and he stayed until 2:15am talking with me
but I think it is simply mutual fondness
but I just find that I really look forward to seeing him
I had been wanting to tell someone but there isn't anything to tell
and I am okay with that, too
I mean I don't have anything I am driving towards
if that makes sense
in my head
or heart
no experiments

RM:
yeah
that makes sense
just growing fondness/attachment
sometimes that's a lovely way to go /feel

me: 
yes, it is good to have a friend
and I know he is my friend. so that is a great thing to me.

I think that my decision to just "wait and see" was possible because I had wiped my slate free, so to speak. In previous months or years, I think I would have just made a decision immediately and either have fed a premature crush or just blown him off. It was very pleasant - and refreshing - to have a simple affection for my new friend with, of course, just the tiniest bit of curiosity. :)

Next installment here.