Quote of the Day

Keep digging your well. Do not think of getting off from work. There is water there.
- Rumi

Quote of the Day

Lady Bracknell: Good afternoon, dear Algernon, I hope you are behaving very well.
Algernon: I’m feeling very well, Aunt Augusta.
Lady Bracknell: That’s not quite the same thing. In fact the two things rarely go together.
- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Quote of the Day

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. 

Robert Anderson

The day I wore pink tights

(9 November 2008)

It all began with the Nordstrom Half Yearly sale.

My commute home takes me right by Nordstrom at the Stanford Shopping Center and so I saw the signs clearly from the street. (I need new black tights, I said to myself, as I turned into the parking lot.)

Having found the black tights, I perused the stockings on sale. In addition to a pair in a lovely, deep shade of royal blue, a pair of hot pink opaque tights caught my eye.

My shoulder angel (which has red curls and looks striking similar to my recent roommate Reija) reminded me of last year's failure - when I came home in great excitement with purple tights, tried them on for all of my roommates, and returned them (unworn) on Monday. The concerns I had expressed then returned to my mind: "What will these tights convey to others about me?" "What will a-certain-dignified-man-of-past-romance think?" "You look an awful lot like the Wicked Witch of the West in purple and black..."

But this year, I was able to quickly dismiss these concerns. "These tights are pink, not purple." "You are, in the end, too frivolous for such a man." "You have been so very severe and sober with recent Prop 8 happenings, that it is important people know you have a personality. It would, in fact, be dishonest to NOT wear pink tights."

And because I strive to be a woman of integrity, I bought them.

And wore them.

To church.

For the first time in a few weeks, I arrived early so that I could sit down discreetly in my pew. The Bishop's wife sat next to me and appeared to be delighted with my tights. ("Do you like them?" I asked her daughter. She hesitated, and then I gave her the option of a thumbs up, a thumbs down, and a neutral. She gave me the neutral and confided apologetically, "I don't like pink.") Just before she left the meeting, the Bishop's wife passed me a note about a man she thought I should invite over for dinner. Win #1 for the pink tights! (And no, I have NOT asked him to dinner - I'm not that bold!)

At the close of the meetings, I chatted in the lobby with friends. A few of my peers complimented me on my tights and within a few minutes one of them (a young man) caught up with me and invited me to come over for dinner ("with just a group of us") that afternoon. I accepted demurely. Win #2 for the pink tights!

By the evening, however, I was ready to be back in my typical drab garb of black and navy. And so I returned from dinner at my parents' home (my 18-month-old nephew was in awe of my legs) and changed into a more understated outfit (but retained my 3" patent black pumps) before mingling with my ward at a new members' social.

In spite of my precautions, a few young men brought up my tights. "Tell me," one of them said. "What went through your head this morning? Did you wake up thinking, 'Today I'll wear pink tights'?" I enjoyed telling them about how it all came about - and expressed mild anxiety over whether it was appropriate, but that I had felt morally obligated to be consistent with my personality. "Oh no," the other young man said, "You were totally okay. And, of course, you had every man in the ward checking out your legs."

And that's when my face turned the color of my tights

(And here I assert what a good thing it was that I wasn't wearing them at the same time. That would have been Too Much.)

And so, in spite of their arguments to the contrary, I knew in that moment that I could never wear my pink tights to church again. For fear that I would be considered brazen. Yes, I resolved, from now on, I would live my life with a more modest tone.

But to wear them to a wedding reception? Now that is quite unexceptional.

1 John 2:15-17

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

--
This scripture is significant because in addition to giving a commandment, it explains the reasoning behind it - in this case why we should not love the world. I find it interesting that the passage does not underscore sin or wickedness (though it implicitly condemns them with words like "lust" and "pride"), but the final line seems to plead instead that love of the world is simply vanity. That worldly things are loved and relied upon and sought after in vain. Those things pass away and all of the efforts we give to them will have been to no purpose ("you mean all of that time/work/money was for nothing?!"). Love of and obedience to God, however, is not idleness, is not vanity, but is truly lasting and "abideth for ever."

Choose by Carl Sandburg

The single clenched fist lifted and ready,
Or the open asking hand held out and waiting.
Choose:
For we meet by one or the other.

The day my dad flat-ironed my hair

(A week ago last Saturday)

My father and I were on a walk and he looked at my hair critically. "KT," he said - yes, my father calls me KT -, "you should let me flat-iron your hair when we get back."

Yes, my father flat-irons. ("When your mother had shoulder surgery, I flat-ironed her hair for her. I'm good at it!")

It's important to note here that my mother arranged a bartering of services between my sister Laura and me when we were in the 8th and 5th grades respectively: I would tutor her in spelling and she would do my hair for school. I've never really known how to do it since. (Except with a banana clip.) When a religious authority recommended we ask loved ones what we can do to improve our appearance, my brother immediately brought up my hair.

And after our walk, my father did not forget. We ate, and then he flat-ironed my hair (I took notes).

And it looked amazing.

My hair had never looked better - I really didn't know my hair could even LOOK like that. My best friend from high school came over later and commented on my hair. My siblings commented on my hair. The next day at church I got comments. And every time someone said, "Your hair looks great! Did you do something different?" I glibly replied:

"Oh, do you like it? Yeah, my dad flat-ironed it."

Quote of the Day

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. ~Mark Twain

She Tells Her Love while Half Asleep by Robert Graves

She tells her love while half asleep,
In the dark hours,
With half-words whispered low:
As Earth stirs in her winter sleep
And puts out grass and flowers
Despite the snow,
Despite the falling snow.

O, to take what we love inside

I have been positively giddy all week this week - as my brothers came in town (as well as a cousin!) and my entire family was together.  I admit I was surprised by the overpowering happiness I felt just in anticipating their arrival - no less in seeing them daily all week!

And then just yesterday I received news that a long-hoped for ambition is one step away from realization. At that point the giddiness subsided, and I started shining (a la Stardust).

All I can think of is this poem and how much I love it (still). It reminds me of Isaiah 58:11, 12:3, and Ezekiel 3:3. 

And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.

Then did I eat it; and it was in my mouth as honey for sweetness.

I hope that you enjoyed your week of family and feasting as much as I did :)

A Decade by Amy Lowell

When you came, you were like red wine and honey,
And the taste of you burnt my mouth with its sweetness.
Now you are like morning bread,
Smooth and pleasant.
I hardly taste you at all for I know your savour,
But I am completely nourished.

Quote of the Day

Despair, doom, and discouragement are not an acceptable view of life for a Latter-day Saint. However high on the charts they are on the hit parade of contemporary news, we must not walk on our lower lip every time a few difficult moments happen to confront us. There have always been some difficulties in mortal life and there always will be. But knowing what we know, and living as we are supposed to live, there really is no place, no excuse, for pessimism and despair.
H. W. Hunter

Quote of the Day

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain

You might be a Thomas if...

KT: EVERYONE likes us
effortlessly
Gordon: hehe
'cept for the people who don't
but yeah
KT: uh I don't know those people
Gordon: haha
those people don't matter
KT: right
exactly

My favorite YouTube video of all time

Press Release: The Rumors are True

My sister is expecting #2

=)

Adam's Curse by William Butler Yeats

We sat together at one summer's end,
That beautiful mild woman, your close friend,
And you and I, and talked of poetry.
I said, 'A line will take us hours maybe;
Yet if it does not seem a moment's thought,
Our stitching and unstitching has been naught.
Better go down upon your marrow-bones
And scrub a kitchen pavement, or break stones
Like an old pauper, in all kinds of weather;
For to articulate sweet sounds together
Is to work harder than all these, and yet
Be thought an idler by the noisy set
Of bankers, schoolmasters, and clergymen
The martyrs call the world.'

........ And thereupon
That beautiful mild woman for whose sake
There's many a one shall find out all heartache
On finding that her voice is sweet and low
Replied, 'To be born woman is to know --
Although they do not talk of it at school --
That we must labour to be beautiful.'

I said, 'It's certain there is no fine thing
Since Adam's fall but needs much labouring.
There have been lovers who thought love should be
So much compounded of high courtesy
That they would sigh and quote with learned looks
precedents out of beautiful old books;
Yet now it seems an idle trade enough.'

We sat grown quiet at the name of love;
We saw the last embers of daylight die,
And in the trembling blue-green of the sky
A moon, worn as if it had been a shell
Washed by time's waters as they rose and fell
About the stars and broke in days and years.

I had a thought for no one's but your ears:
That you were beautiful, and that I strove
To love you in the old high way of love;
That it had all seemed happy, and yet we'd grown
As weary-hearted as that hollow moon.

Quote of the Day

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Oscar Wilde

Quote of the Day

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity.
Goethe

The Department of Louise

FYI, Obama called me and I delightedly accepted:

http://archive.deseretnews.com/archive/140875/ITS-91-AND-TIME-TO-UNVEIL-WHOLL-RUN-FOR-PRESIDENT.html

A few talking points

If, like me, you have friends who are incredibly hurt by what's happened in California, I have developed a few talking points to help foster understanding. I hope these are helpful:

Civil Rights
Everyone, regardless of race, gender, creed is allowed to marry – no one is withheld that right. It is the definition of what a marriage is that is in question, not who has the right to access it.

Church / State
I simply vote for what I believe is true, whether that is founded on religious beliefs or not, that is my moral obligation. I am not forcing my religious code on anyone by voting my conscience.

The Definition of Marriage
I believe that marriage = man + woman; that just as a man and a woman physically procreate, they socially marry. This belief can be held without any religious beliefs (though, in my case, all of my morals and values are founded on mine). My morals and values are not any less valid because they are religiously founded.

Quote of the Day

We are not enemies, but friends -- though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.
Abraham Lincoln, as quoted by Barack Obama.

Prop 8: Aftermath

Last night a friend of mine from High School updated her status to say:
"R is depressed that 52% of people in her state are evil."

Which prompted me to write the following:

Hey R,

I know we don't talk often, but I just wanted to respond to your status. I hope you don't really look upon all people who voted Yes on prop 8 as "evil." Clearly we all see this as a very difficult and emotional issue, but I do promise you that at least SOME of the people who voted yes on that issue care very much about their friends and their happiness, but simply feel a moral obligation to vote for things they see as true - not out of a desire to impose a "religious will" on anyone.

I hope this isn't offensive to you, I just wanted to give you insight from someone on the other side of the issue.

respectfully,
kt

R's Response:
Hi kt,
Thanks for the message, I appreciate it. I shouldn't have used the word "evil"... the emotions are just very strong still. While I feel like I understand that you feel that being gay is wrong/sinful/etc, I don't think I'll ever understand why a "moral obligation," as you put it, would drive people to fight to take civil rights away from others.

It parallels interracial marriage in every way. 50 years ago, it would be illegal for me to marry my now-husband. It would also mean I would not exist since my own parents wouldn't be allowed to marry either. So, this is a highly personal issue to me.

Even if someone thinks homosexuality is sinful, I don't understand the need to go out of your way to take rights away from them. This is the first time in our state's history that there will be an amendment to the constitution to REMOVE civil rights. Isn't that saying something? You can disagree w/someone's "lifestyle" yet recognize that it has no bearing on your own life/happiness/well-being. And also, aren't your morals tied to your religion? So if enforcing your morals on others isn't enforcing religious will, then what is it?

Had justices in the Loving v Virginia case not stood up for interracial marriage, who knows if I would have the same rights as you today. At the time, I'm guessing popular vote would have voted against allowing it, but with hindsight, I hope you'd agree that the right decision was made.

Happy to keep the conversation going... I respect you but just haven't heard a single convincing argument yet...

R

And my response:

R,

Thanks for your great response. I know there has been some ridiculous rhetoric thrown around, some of which L. corrected for me (in terms of how state laws differ, etc.). And, yes, you are correct that my morals are founded on my religion, but it is not a desire to force my religious "code" that drives this issue for me. I'll try to explain as best I can. Please feel free to pick this apart.

The best way to explain this is that I believe in a society with genders. I know that seems like an odd way to put it, but I believe that in the way the genders interact physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc. they are designed to be different (Even though, of course, like all populations, there are statistical variances to any generalized characteristics), and that these differences are desireable.

I do not see this as the same as interracial marriage, because this is an issue of gender to me. Whereas a white man and a black man are the same (with some genetic differences, obviously), a woman and a man are not (obviously, as mentioned before, there are some outlying variances statistically - but those are, statistically, exceptions). I read an article in the NYT this summer that seemed shocked that although women are just as capable as men in science, they are "just not interested" - further evidence to me that the brain, the body, and, I would contend, the spirit of the genders have fundamental differences. Again, I believe those differences have value. This is the foundation for why I believe marriage is only between a man and a woman.

I believe that the sexual relationship is a metaphor for the emotional relationship - that just as the two genders are designed to procreate physically in different, but complementary ways, they are designed to parent emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually in different, but complementary ways.

This does not mean that I don't think other individuals (single, in committed homosexual relationships, etc.) wouldn't make great parents. It also doesn't mean that the worst heterosexual relationship is better than the best homosexual relationship. Clearly that is not true. Even though I do not personally relate to homosexuality, I readily believe that the love these couples have is sincere and lasting. I absolutely trust that these couples sincerely love and desire each other.

I simply believe that God designed two genders to teach each other - in ways that are harder, sometimes, than it would be with someone of the same gender - and that there is truth, beauty, and importance in that design. That it is something physically, socially, psychologically, and spiritually worth promoting above all other relationships.

Because I believe this is true, I feel a moral obligation to support what I see as true in the laws that I support. It does not affect my respect for others' choices, nor does it affect my wishes for others' happiness.

I really appreciate your willingness to discuss the issue with me. I hope this makes sense, even though you may disagree.

Best
kt

ps - the article I mentioned is here:
and obviously it's a generalization that women "just aren't as interested" - because I have many girlfriends who are very talented and interested in the sciences, although most of them are just as interested (and talented) in the liberal arts as well.

Quote of the Day

Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters, in the months and years ahead, events are likely to require each member to decide whether or not he will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions. President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had 'never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional or political life.'

This is hard doctrine, but it is particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ. . . . Your discipleship may see the time when such religious convictions are discounted. . . . This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions.

Resistance to abortion will be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened.... Before the ultimate victory of the forces of righteousness, some skirmishes will be lost. Even in these, however, let us leave a record so that the choices are clear, letting others do as they will in the face of prophetic counsel. There will also be times, happily, when a minor defeat seems probable, but others will step forward, having been rallied to rightness by what we do. We will know the joy, on occasion, of having awakened a slumbering majority of the decent people of all races and creeds which was, till then, unconscious of itself. Jesus said that when the fig trees put forth their leaves, 'summer is nigh.' Thus warned that summer is upon us, let us not then complain of the heat.

Neal A. Maxwell

via Jocelyn

Vote

Quote of the Day

"You have your own life. You owe it to yourself and everyone around you to develop your philosophy. To examine why you think the things you do, and to withstand the praise and scorn of the diverse communities around you that can neither accept you nor reject you." iceowl

Rock the Vote

California Proposition 1
Abstract: California High Speed Rail Bond. S.B. 1856. (SF to LA)
My Vote: No
Comments: none

California Proposition 2
Abstract: Treatment of Farm Animals. Statute.
My Vote: No
Comments: Ambiguous terms of compliance, should be handled by the state legislature.

California Proposition 3
Abstract: Children's Hospital Bond Act. Grant Program. Statute.
My Vote: No
Comments: none

California Proposition 4
Abstract: Waiting Period and Parental Notification Before Termination of Minor's Pregnancy. Constitutional Amendment.
My Vote: Yes
Comments: consistent with other health codes dealing with minors, sensible provisions.

California Proposition 5
Abstract: Nonviolent Offenders. Sentencing, Parole and Rehabilitation. Statute.
My Vote: No
Comments: none

California Proposition 6
Abstract: Criminal Penalties and Laws. Public Safety Funding. Statute.
My Vote: Yes
Comments: none

California Proposition 7
Abstract: Renewable Energy. Statute.
My Vote: No
Comments: none

California Proposition 8
Abstract: Eliminates the Rights of Same-Sex Couples to Marry. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.
My Vote: Yes
Comments: Current laws provide civil rights to same-sex couples; marriage is a civic institution for supporting families, best promoted by promoting traditional marriage.

California Proposition 9
Abstract: Criminal Justice System. Victims' Rights. Parole. Constitutional Amendment and Statute.
My Vote: Undecided
Comments: Still studying.

California Proposition 10
Abstract: Alternative Fuel Vehicles and Renewable Energy. Statute.
My Vote: No
Comments: Rebates inflate the market price, with no value for the consumer.

California Proposition 11
Abstract: Redistricting. Constitutional Amendment and Statute.
My Vote: No
Comments: none

California Proposition 12
Abstract: Veterans' Bond Act of 2008. S.B. 1572.
My Vote: Yes
Comments: none

Palo Alto Measure N:
Abstract: Palo Alto library bond election, Measure N, 2008, $76 million.
My Vote: No
Comments: I would love to vote yes on a bond for palo alto libraries, but I think it could be more fiscally efficient.

iTunes Playlist

Under African Skies (Paul Simon)
The Tower of Learning (Rufus Wainwright)
You are the Sunshine of my Life (Stevie Wonder)
Simple Gifts (Yo-Yo Ma and Alison Krauss)
Is this How Love is Supposed to Feel (Ben Lee)
Into the Mystic (Van Morrison)
My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee (Rob Gardner / Spire Chorus)

Doctrine & Covenants 64:13

And this ye shall do that God may be glorified—not because ye forgive not, having not compassion, but that ye may be justified in the eyes of the law, that ye may not offend him who is your lawgiver.

Exodus 13:21-22

And the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night: he took not away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people.

Quote of the Day

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain Adam, in Adam's Diary

prop 8 Q&A

Question:
OK. i just got off the phone with my mom and she was going off about prop 8 and signs being stolen, etc. i had her give me a run down of the day-to-day effects that prop 8 not passing would have. in other words, i see the principles involved, but if we're in favor of domestic partnerships having ALL the same rights and privileges as traditional marriages, then what difference does it make whether 8 passes?

the first thing she said was that churches could be sued for not marrying same sex couples. i asked zp about that and he said it was a red herring -- freedom of religion would prevent that from happening. my mom said she's read cases. i'm coming to you for the real scoop.

Answer:
Great question... and I have a long response :) - please feel free to pick it part

According to California law (http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=fam&group=00001-01000&file=297-297.5) Registered Domestic Partners are given the same rights as married spouses. But although that code extends the privileges of spouses to domestic partners, it does not necessarily expand laws involving families or marriages to include domestic partnerships. For example, a requirement to teach children in public schools about marriage does not necessarily require that domestic partnerships be taught as well. That is one of the primary points that one of the more recent Yes on 8 ads makes and it is founded upon an experience by a couple in Massachusetts (where same-sex marriage is legal) - that opening this up will require that where marriage is used, it will need to include both heterosexul and well as homosexual marriages. So, while those against prop 8 argue that there is no impact to families, children, etc. of course that is not true.

Anywhere the term marriage is used in a law, then that law will clearly expand and change with this redefinition. This redefinition of marriage will affect existing laws referencing marriage and it will be a law that other laws will be founded upon. A precedent will be set and the interpretations that will follow may be quite far-reaching (as it will evolve over time and over generations). We can only speculate what its effects may be.

Now all of this, of course, means that there is indeed a legal distinction between the privileges of a marriage and those of a domestic partnership (as the Opposition truthfully states). Which then begs asking the following questions: Are the rights of domestic partnerships sufficient? Are the privileges of marriage a civil right? This is where the Yes on 8 would say yes - the domestic partnership is sufficient and no - the privileges of marriage are not a civil right. The No on 8 of course argues the opposite. I personally believe that some privileges (such as driving licenses and, yes, marriage licenses) are not rights, but are granted by the government according to standards in the community's best interest.

That is regarding the differences between the two. I have thoughts on freedom of religion, but I'll save that for later :)

kt

ps
The French National Assembly commissioned a study / report on this very issue and you can read the English abstract here:
http://www.preservemarriage.ca/docs/France%20-%20summary.pdf

Particularly interesting that a socially liberal European nation is more willing to thoughtfully study and research the issue before redefining social norms than the state of California is :) Instead we use judges and propositions to emotionally address social policy....

MIA: why

Traveling to this (where I saved these), then taking this to visit these relations, while traveling for business here.

Where I will be until weekend.

love
kt

Kunstkammer by Jack Gilbert

We are resident inside the machinery,
a glimmering spread throughout the apparatus.
We exist with a wind whispering inside
and our moon flexing. Amid the ducts,
inside the basilica of bones. The flesh
is a neighborhood, but not the life.
Our body is not good at memory, at keeping.
It is the spirit that holds on to our treasure.
The dusk in Italy when the ferry passed Bellagio
and turned across Lake Como in the hush to where
we would land and start up the grassy mountain.
The body keeps so little of the life after
being with her eleven years,
and the mouth not even that much. But the heart
is different. It never forgets
the pine trees with the moon rising behind them
every night. Again and again we put our
sweet ghosts on small paper boats and sailed
them back into their death, each moving slowly
into the dark, disappearing as our hearts
visited and savored, hurt and yearned.

Doctrine & Covenants 127:4

Let ... all the works which I have appointed unto you be continued on and not cease; and let your diligence, and your perseverance, and patience, and your works be redoubled, and you shall in nowise lose your reward, saith the Lord of Hosts. And if they persecute you, so persecuted they the prophets and righteous men that were before you. For all this there is a reward in heaven.

The Echo at Stanford

Tonight my dear friend Peachie and I went to the Echo on Stanford campus. The Echo is just north of MemChu and is a circle of stonework with an inlaid bench. At the foot of the bench, also in a circle is the following:

For the troubled may you find peace
For the despairing may you find hope
For the lonely may you find love
For the skeptical may you find faith

In the very center is a spot where you can stand and hear your voice echo.

Say You Love Me by Jack Gilbert

Are the angels of her bed the angels
who come near me along in mine?
Are the green trees in her window
the color I see in ripe plums?
If she always sees backward
and upside down without knowing it
what chance do we have? I am haunted
by the feeling that she is saying
melting lords of death, avalanches,
rivers and moments of passing through.
And I am replying, "Yes, yes.
Shoes and pudding."

Q&A: Prop 8

Question:
It bothered me last night when they said that civil unions already have the same civil rights as married couples because I don't believe that is true. I wanted to do some research on this and thought I would reach out to you to see if you know. It seems that, for example, you cannot jointly adopt if you are in a civil union (and you obviously can if you are married). I want to be sure on this point because while it won't change my stance, it does take away our credibility if we say things that aren't true. We are better off being honest about that. So, do you know about the difference in civil rights?

Answer:
So many laws include the word "marriage" - perhaps more than can possibly be collected in a summary list - which would of course not envelope civil unions. So, I would say that you are correct that civil unions are not technically the same as marriages in terms of legal benefits, etc. However, I believe that when it comes to civil rights (perhaps not civil benefits), it is not inaccurate to say that they are the same.

That being said, I agree with you in that I don't think that saying they are the same is an effective argument (since, technically it is not true). In terms of arguing this rationally, my recommendation is to challenge the opposition's current method of framing this as a civil rights issue, and instead perhaps discuss the concept of a license - and the concept of using legal and social policy to prohibit, permit, or promote behaviors. Since heterosexual married couples have consistently been identified as the ideal model for a family, it is sensible to retain it as the legal definition of marriage. It doesn't mean we prohibit or penalize other relationships, but we should promote the best (as outlined by social research, not necessarily religious beliefs, although in this case, they may be the same).

There is an excellent resource that the French National Assumbly published in line with this. France, a notably socially liberal country, has determined to maintain traditional marriage and civil unions (rather than promoting same-sex marriage) due to social research findings. It is worth re-emphasizing in discussions that this is a very emotional issue, but that as we look at other nation's examples, it is worth looking at research before hastily shaking up the social norms that have evolved through common law for perhaps good reason. I also often follow up a 1:1 discussion with my personal religious doctrinal beliefs about gender and marriage. I find most people respect them and do not disagree (even if they do not fully agree) with them.

News article on the French Report:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2006/feb/06021601.html
English Translation of the French Report:
http://www.preservemarriage.ca/docs/France%20-%20summary.pdf

I hope this is helpful,
kt

Quote of the Day

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
Homer

Let Love Be the Lodestar of Your Life by Gordon B. Hinckley

The Church is moving forward because it is true. It is growing because there is a broadening love for that truth. It is growing because of a love for God, a love for the Savior, a love for neighbor, and a strengthening spirit of love in the homes of the people. It is this love which is the great constant in all of our work. It stems from that love which is divine:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16.)

Love is like the Polar Star. In a changing world, it is a constant. It is of the very essence of the gospel. It is the security of the home. It is the safeguard of community life. It is a beacon of hope in a world of distress.

Great beyond comprehension is the love of God. He is our loving Eternal Father. Out of His love for us, He has given an eternal plan which, when followed, leads to exaltation in His kingdom. Out of His love for us, He sent His Firstborn into the world, who, out of His own divine love, gave Himself as a sacrifice for each of us. His was an incomparable gift of love to a world that largely spurned Him. He is our great exemplar. We should let love become the lodestar of our lives, with the absolute assurance that, because of the love of God our Eternal Father and His own beloved Son, our salvation from the bonds of death is sure and our opportunity for eternal exaltation is certain. Let that divine love, shed on us, be reflected from our lives onto others of our Father’s children.

It is not always easy to follow the Polar Star of love. It requires a discipline almost beyond the power of many to observe. I think it is the most difficult and also the most important of all commandments. But out of its observance comes a remarkable discipline and a refining influence that are wonderful to experience. It savors of the sweet, all-encompassing love of Christ.

Read the full talk here.

Interfaith Fast: October 12th (Sunday)

Please join an interfaith fast on Sunday, October 12th for California Proposition 8.

Whatever your professed faith may be, your faith and fasting can bring forth the powers of heaven. Please abstain from food and drink on Sunday, October 12th and please pray for a positive outcome for California's Proposition 8, that hearts may be softened, and that understanding and wisdom will prevail.

Vote your Conscience

I love this Catholic Vote video!

Provident Living: October

Seasonal Savings:

Produce:
cranberries
apples
pomegranates
grapes
sweet potatoes
pumpkins
winter squash
broccoli
spinach
lettuce

Other Food:
Canned fruits and vegetables
Dried fruits (raisins, apricots, cranberries)
Soups
Broth

Non-food:
Large appliances
Lawn mowers
Grills
Tires and other car care supplies

If there are any heavens my mother will(all by herself) have one by EE Cummings

for Mother, on her birthday

if there are any heavens my mother will(all by herself) have
one. It will not be a pansy heaven nor
a fragile heaven of lilies-of-the-valley but
it will be a heaven of blackred roses

my father will be(deep like a rose
tall like a rose)

standing near my

(swaying over her
silent)
with eyes which are really petals and see

nothing with the face of a poet really which
is a flower and not a face with
hands
which whisper
This is my beloved my

                             (suddenly in sunlight
he will bow,

& the whole garden will bow)

How Firm a Foundation

I only recently started contemplating the beauty of this hymn's verses. That our faith can be founded in God's word - that the word (as we read in Isaiah and throughout the scripture) is that he will succor us in every condition, sanctify our distress, and refine us. It is so beautiful. I especially love verses 4 and 5 (which, unfortunately, are rarely sung as they are 'optional' verses).

1

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord, is laid for your faith in his excellent word! What more can he say than to you he hath said, who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

2

In every condition - in sickness or in health, in poverty's vale or abounding in wealth, at home or abroad, on the land or the sea - as thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

3

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

4

When through the deep waters I call thee to go, the rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow, for I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

5

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, my grace all sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

7

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

[Attr. to Robert Keen]

Quote of the Day

This quote is from a conference where Brigham Young asked / commanded the saints to rescue the pioneers suffering as they travelled to Utah. I have been thinking about this quote in light of the current request / commandment from the First Presidency to the California saints to protect families by supporting Proposition 8.

“I will tell you all,” said he, “that your faith, religion, and profession of religion, will never save one soul of you in the celestial kingdom of our God, unless you carry out just such principles as I am now teaching you. Go and bring in those people now on the plains, and attend strictly to those things which we call temporal, or temporal duties, otherwise your faith will be in vain; the preaching you have heard will be in vain to you, and you will sink to hell, unless you attend to the things we tell you” (Deseret News, Oct. 15, 1856, 252).
Brigham Young

Pretty strong words, but I believe they are true. Our faith, religion, and profession of religion will not save us unless we carry out the principles they teach.

The Fist by Mary Oliver

There are days

when the sun goes down

like a fist,

though of course

if you see anything

in the heavens

in this way

you had better get

your eyes checked

or, better still,

your diminished spirit.

The heavens

have no fist,

or wouldn't they have been

shaking it

for a thousand years now,

and even

longer than that,

at the dull, brutish

ways of mankind --

heaven's own

creation?

Instead: such patience!

Such willingness

to let us continue!

To hear,

little by little,

the voices --

only, so far, in

pockets of the world --

suggesting

the possibilities

of peace?

Keep looking.

Behold, how the fist opens

with invitation.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

I've been thinking a lot about the Proclamation on the Family. I am going to post a bit on some of my thoughts over the next few days.

You can read the proclamation here:
http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html

Quote of the Day

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family.
Lee Iacocca

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-blankenhorn19-2008sep19,0,2093869.story

Quote of the Day

Live for it. Pray for it. Exercise faith that you will obtain it. The Lord will keep His promises.
Richard G. Scott

Sausalito

My sister Laura and I went to Sausalito last weekend. Laura started out with a mani/pedi at our favorite place (which also happens to be about 500 yards from my office), and then picked me up. We drove up through San Francisco, over the Golden Gate bridge, and took the first exit east to downtown. Even though it was overcast and drizzling, we were delighted with the beautiful sailboats and the charming mainstreet.


We found our bed & breakfast was in the heart of downtown. We checked into the very lovely Gables Inn. We had a 2-bedroom Suite "The Spruce Room":


I took a ridiculously hot bath before we went to our dinner reservation at The Spinnaker, where I ordered Sea Bass with mango & strawberry salsa. It was delicious. Laura ordered a very rich, heavy mahi with crab & brie. Wow.

We then returned early to talk late into the night (not that late) and slept a LONG while.

The next morning was a little frazzled as we found out that I had an allergic reaction to some cleaning agent / laundry / potpourri (SOMETHING) in the bed & breakfast. We had to (sadly) check out early as I was not feeling well. Luckily, it was all resolved in time for us to eat lunch at the Sausalito Bakery & Cafe. We shared a Tuna Melt and bowl of fruit before enjoying downtown window shopping & ice cream for the rest of the afternoon.


My mother was so good to help us find a reservation at the Four Seasons in Palo Alto for that night (so that we wouldn't have to cut our vacation short), and the price was half of what the B&B was, so we wrapped up our shopping and headed back to the Peninsula.

We returned crossing the Golden Gate Bridge (I took this from my iPhone)

We stopped in Menlo Park to eat dinner at Cafe Borrone and buy books at Kepler's (I splurged), and then checked into the Four Seasons.

We finished the evening snacking on the cheese, grapes, thinly sliced salami, bread & honeycomb, berries, and ginger ale we ordered from Room Service. Laura read Cold Comfort Farm, I read Thirst by Mary Oliver, and I took a golden bath (using the glittery gold bath melt from LUSH).

I'm ready for my next vacation.

Autumn Day by Rainer Maria Rilke

Lord: it is time. The summer was immense.
Lay your shadow on the sundials
and let loose the wind in the fields.

Bid the last fruits to be full;
give them another two more southerly days,
press them to ripeness, and chase
the last sweetness into the heavy wine.

Whoever has no house now will not build one
anymore.
Whoever is alone now will remain so for a long
time,
will stay up, read, write long letters,
and wander the avenues, up and down,
restlessly, while the leaves are blowing.

(Translated by Galway Kinnell and Hannah Liebmann, “The Essential Rilke” (Ecco))

Cartoon Physics, part 1 by Nick Flynn

Children under, say, ten, shouldn't know
that the universe is ever-expanding,
inexorably pushing into the vacuum, galaxies

swallowed by galaxies, whole

solar systems collapsing, all of it
acted out in silence. At ten we are still learning

the rules of cartoon animation,

that if a man draws a door on a rock
only he can pass through it.
Anyone else who tries

will crash into the rock. Ten-year-olds
should stick with burning houses, car wrecks,
ships going down -- earthbound, tangible

disasters, arenas

where they can be heroes. You can run
back into a burning house, sinking ships

have lifeboats, the trucks will come
with their ladders, if you jump

you will be saved. A child

places her hand on the roof of a schoolbus,
& drives across a city of sand. She knows

the exact spot it will skid, at which point
the bridge will give, who will swim to safety
& who will be pulled under by sharks. She will learn

that if a man runs off the edge of a cliff
he will not fall

until he notices his mistake.

to a red haired fox

soft and elusive
you slip and sneak through my gate
and into my heart

Of gchat and the great gatsby

I have often mused on the symbolism of the gchat "available" green dot and the green light of Daisy's dock in "The Great Gatsby." To the effect that I have, at times, put quotes from the novel as my gchat status. Such as the following:

KT "distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away"

across the expanse,
the sea of a dozen states,
your green light beckons

Tell me you, too, feel the romanticism of a flickering green light across the void.

Doctrine & Covenants 123:17

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

Ezekiel 3:1, 4, 6

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

Love Poem With Toast by Miller Williams

Some of what we do, we do
to make things happen,
the alarm to wake us up, the coffee to perc,
the car to start.

The rest of what we do, we do
trying to keep something from doing something,
the skin from aging, the hoe from rusting,
the truth from getting out.

With yes and no like the poles of a battery
powering our passage through the days,
we move, as we call it, forward,
wanting to be wanted,
wanting not to lose the rain forest,
wanting the water to boil,
wanting not to have cancer,
wanting to be home by dark,
wanting not to run out of gas,

as each of us wants the other
watching at the end,
as both want not to leave the other alone,
as wanting to love beyond this meat and bone,
we gaze across breakfast and pretend.

Quote of the Day

God is serious about joy.

i carry your heart with me by E E Cummings

for Melville

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                       i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Flashback: Melville

*photo by Strawbs

Quote of the Day

No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse.
Jeffrey R. Holland

Neglect by R T Smith

Is the scent of apple boughs smoking
in the woodstove what I will remember
of the Red Delicious I brought down, ashamed

that I could not convince its limbs to render fruit?
Too much neglect will do that, skew the sap's
passage, blacken leaves, dry the bark and heart.

I should have lopped the dead limbs early
and watched each branch with a goshawk's eye,
patching with medicinal pitch, offering water,

compost and mulch, but I was too enchanted
by pear saplings, flowers and the pasture,
too callow to believe that death's inevitable

for any living being unloved, untended.
What remains is this armload of applewood
now feeding the stove's smolder. Splendor

ripens a final time in the firebox, a scarlet
harvest headed, by dawn, to embers.
Two decades of shade and blossoms - tarts

and cider, bees dazzled by the pollen,
spare elegance in ice - but what goes is gone.
Smoke is all, through this lesson in winter

regret, I've been given to remember.
Smoke, and Red Delicious apples redder
than a passing cardinal's crest or cinders.

Quote of the Day

Do not rely on planning every event of your life - even every important event. Stand ready to accept the Lord's planning and the agency of others in matters that inevitably affect you.
Dallin H. Oaks

Numbers by Mary Cornish

for Brooke

I like the generosity of numbers.
The way, for example,
they are willing to count
anything or anyone:
two pickles, one door to the room,
eight dancers dressed as swans.

I like the domesticity of addition--
add two cups of milk and stir--
the sense of plenty: six plums
on the ground, three more
falling from the tree.

And multiplication's school
of fish times fish,
whose silver bodies breed
beneath the shadow
of a boat.

Even subtraction is never loss,
just addition somewhere else:
five sparrows take away two,
the two in someone else's
garden now.

There's an amplitude to long division,
as it opens Chinese take-out
box by paper box,
inside every folded cookie
a new fortune.

And I never fail to be surprised
by the gift of an odd remainder,
footloose at the end:
forty-seven divided by eleven equals four,
with three remaining.

Three boys beyond their mothers' call,
two Italians off to the sea,
one sock that isn't anywhere you look.

Update

My cousin Alice reported this on her blog today and I wanted to share it with all of you who have been praying for my cousin Christian and his wife Stephanie. Alice shared this report from my cousin Peter and his wife Darin, who visited Christian yesterday.

Christian was cinched up in his new back brace and strapped into a fancy chair when Peter and I saw him yesterday. He was in a sitting position after 17 days at "30 degree maximum" as he put it. (That's the most incline he is allowed in the bed.) It was so fun to hear his voice, though it's not quite his yet. He was laboring to talk and to stay alert, but he had his humor and was coherent.
As we were saying goodbye, he swelled with thanks for our visiting him and then he spoke so beautifully about prayer that I wrote it down after we left so I wouldn't forget. He said, "Thank you for the prayers. I feel them. I feel them. I've needed them more this past week [17 days, but who's counting :)] than I ever have in my life. And there have been times in here when I needed them so badly, and I could feel them. Keep them coming."

Christian's words remind me of this scripture:
"Pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." - James 5:16

This is reaffirmed more than ever.

There are days we live as if death were nowhere in the background

Joys:

1. family

2. scriptures / poetry
{Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. - Isaiah 12:3}
{How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind - li-young lee}
3. the earth - specifically California, Chicago, Melville, Los Gatos, trees, wind, rain, roses, fog, the marine layer, and cottages with windows
* pics by friend Samantha

Delights
1. the ways people are good
2. oranges

3. breakfast

Indulgences
1. cookies
2. singing
3. earrings

Random Sources of Satisfaction:
1. There is a disco ball hanging from my curtain rod at present
2. I have never had a broken bone, a bee sting, or stitches
3. I have almost 100 first cousins

craigslist phenomenon

8am - kt and her visiting teacher drag her queen bed out to the curb. post a free sign on it.
8:30am - kt posts the bed on craigslist for pickup.
12:30pm - kt returns from labor day breakfast to see if bed is picked up yet. sees two men putting it into a truck. one looks very, VERY familiar. Wait a second...

What are the odds that someone I know would come pick up something I posted on craigslist (without knowledge it was mine)?
And what are the odds that it would be my ex?
Picking it up for his current girlfriend?

hahahahahahaha

(today is)

moving day!

(it's true: I'm moving from Melville today)

How You Can Help

As some of you know, last week my cousin Christian and his wife Stephanie Nielson were in a very serious private plane crash. They are a young couple (Stephanie is my age) with four children under the age of six. It has been a very emotional time for my family, but we have felt tremendous support from our LDS faith and from wonderful friends.

Christian and Stephanie are still in critical condition and because Stephanie has third degree burns covering 80% of her body and Christian has third degree burns over 30% of his body, their recovery will be very long and very expensive (into the millions).

Today, several websites of friends, family, and others who are deeply concerned about the Nielsons are auctioning off items for their benefit. There are some really beautiful things for sale and all of the proceeds (in some cases, a portion) go to the recovery fund for the Nielsons.

You can see the comprehensive list here: http://www.designmom.com/
or donate directly here: http://www.nierecovery.com/

You can read updates about Stephanie and Christian here (written by Stephanie's sister Courtney): http://blog.cjanerun.com/
Stephanie has long blogged about her little family here: http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com

Please feel free to forward this to others who either know Stephanie & Christian or who may be into online shopping :) (There really are some beautiful things for sale! - Many handmade items).

Love
kt

Believe Me, If All These Endearing Young Charms by Thomas Moore

Believe me, if all those endearing young charms
Which I gaze on so fondly today
Were to change by tomorrow and fleet in my arms
Like fairy gifts fading away,
Thou wouldst still be adored as this moment thou art
Let thy loveliness fade as it will
And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself verdantly still.

It is not while beauty and youth are thine own
And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear
That the fervor and faith of a soul can be known
To which time will but make thee more dear.
No, the heart that has truly loved never forgets
But as truly loves on to the close
As the sunflower turns to her God when he sets
The same look which she turned when he rose.

Quote of the Day

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.
Frank Lloyd Wright

1 Corinthians 3: 8-15

Now every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour.
For we are labourers together with God: ye are God’s husbandry, ye are God’s building.
According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon.
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;
Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.
If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

A side note

Although I usually just blog quotes, poems, and the occasional lolcat, I do read a number of blogs on fashion and style that I really enjoy. One of them is having a contest to find accessories for her wedding dress and another is having a haiku contest around stila cosmetics. I thought I would post my submissions here for fun and to satiate my interests in fashion and style without dedicating my blog to it (Altho, maybe that will change ... )

To Halve and Halve Not

I am halving my possessions and moving on Friday into a modest studio apartment.

I am excited to own less.

I am interested to see how I like living alone.

(I hope I can fit self and self's stuff in there...)

ps - some things I have given away in efforts to shed stuff: (not an exclusive list)
ice cream maker
board games
sleeping bags (2)
suitcases
pillows
books
books
books

pps - I have to sell my queen size bed *sniff* (it simply won't fit in the new place)

Heavy by Mary Oliver

The time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying

I went closer
and I did not die.
Surely God
had His hand in this,

as well as friends,
Still, I was bent,
and my laughter,
as the poet said,

was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel
(brave even among lions),
"It's not the weight you carry

but how you carry it--
books, bricks, grief--
it's all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it

when you cannot, and would not,
put it down."
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?

Have you heard the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?

How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe

also troubled--
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep wave,
a love
to which there is no reply?

Isaiah 54:7-8

For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.

Daisies by Mary Oliver

It is possible, I suppose that sometime
we will learn everything
there is to learn: what the world is, for example,
and what it means. I think this as I am crossing
from one field to another, in summer, and the
mockingbird is mocking me, as one who either
knows enough already or knows enough to be
perfectly content not knowing. Song being born
of quest he knows this: he must turn silent
were he suddenly assaulted with answers. Instead
oh hear his wild, caustic, tender warbling ceaselessly
unanswered. At my feet the white-petalled daisies display
the small suns of their center piece, their - if you don't
mind my saying so - their hearts. Of course
I could be wrong, perhaps their hearts are pale and
narrow and hidden in the roots. What do I know?
But this: it is heaven itself to take what is given,
to see what is plain; what the sun lights up willingly;
for example - I think this
as I reach down, not to pick but merely to touch -
the suitability of the field for the daisies, and the
daisies for the field.

Babyhood

Dad's First Birdy

We had a rough weekend as a family, and so my brother-in-law Brock took my dad out golfing tonight to take his mind off of things.

Brock's idea turned out to be completely inspired - because on the 16th hole Dad hit his first birdy ever! Here he is about to finish it off :)

Sunday Will Come by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

[My wife Elisa] was my strength and my joy. Because of her, I am a better man, husband, and father. We married, had eight children, and walked together through 65 years of life.

When President Hinckley spoke at Sister Wirthlin’s funeral, he said that it is a devastating, consuming thing to lose someone you love. It gnaws at your soul. He was right. As Elisa was my greatest joy, her passing is my greatest sorrow.

In the lonely hours I have spent a great deal of time thinking about eternal things. I have contemplated the comforting doctrines of eternal life.

I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross. I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest.

But the doom of that day did not endure.

The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.

Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.

No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, in this life or the next, Sunday will come.

We will all rise from the grave. On that day I will once again hold in my arms my beloved Elisa.

Because of the life and eternal sacrifice of the Savior of the world, we will be reunited with those we have cherished. On that day we will know the love of our Heavenly Father and will rejoice that the Messiah overcame all that we could live forever.

Because of the sacred ordinances we receive in holy temples, death cannot long separate relationships that have been fastened together with cords made of eternal ties.

No matter how dark our Friday, Sunday will come.

Read the full talk here.

Valentine for Ernest Mann by Naomi Shihab Nye

You can't order a poem like you order a taco.
Walk up to the counter, say, "I'll take two"
and expect it to be handed back to you
on a shiny plate.

Still, I like your spirit.
Anyone who says, "Here's my address,
write me a poem," deserves something in reply.
So I'll tell you a secret instead:
poems hide. In the bottoms of our shoes,
they are sleeping. They are the shadows
drifting across our ceilings the moment
before we wake up. What we have to do
is live in a way that lets us find them.

Once I knew a man who gave his wife
two skunks for a valentine.
He couldn't understand why she was crying.
"I thought they had such beautiful eyes."
And he was serious. He was a serious man
who lived in a serious way. Nothing was ugly
just because the world said so. He really
liked those skunks. So, he re-invented them
as valentines and they became beautiful.
At least, to him. And the poems that had been hiding
in the eyes of skunks for centuries
crawled out and curled up at his feet.

Maybe if we re-invent whatever our lives give us
we find poems. Check your garage, the odd sock
in your drawer, the person you almost like, but not quite.
And let me know.

Update

Hundreds were fasting for Christian and Stephanie today. It is so great to know that love and faith - made manifest through prayers and fasting - have such a healing power. That God lets us manifest our love in such a way to help each other heal.

Stephanie and Christian have been taken out of trauma, but are still in critical condition. Our family is much more hopeful with tonight's update and know that the progress they have made has been to the credit of their physicians, the faithful prayers and fasting of friends and family, and Stephanie's and Christian's love of and desires to be with their family. We are humbled by the outpouring of love and faith we have felt. Truly this has been a time to turn our hearts to God and to our family.

I know that though this will be an ongoing healing process for Stephanie and Christian, that for them to bear these burdens together will be a great mercy.

I am so grateful to have temple covenants that bind me to my family - and to such wonderful extended family as the Nielsons. They are very dear to me.

I am also grateful for friends and family who strengthen each other with faith, such as Stephanie's dear friend Reachel.

Thank you for your prayers. Please continue to remember Christian and Stephanie. I know that it will bless them as they heal.

Morning Poem by Mary Oliver

Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange

sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again

and fasten themselves to the high branches ---
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands

of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails

for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it

the thorn
that is heavier than lead ---
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging ---

there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted ---

each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,

whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.

Tragedy

Some of you may know of the private plane crash that my cousin Christian and his wife Stephanie were in on Saturday. They are in critical condition in the Arizona Burn Center. Please join us in praying and fasting for them. You can read updates on Stephanie's sister's blog here.

Enduring Together by Bishop Richard C. Edgley

From bearing one another’s burdens as ward members, we have learned several lessons:

1. The Lord’s organization is fully adequate to know and care for those with even the most dire emotional and spiritual needs.

2. Adversity can bring us closer to God, with a renewed and enlightened appreciation for prayer and the Atonement, which covers pain and suffering in all their manifestations.

3. Members who suffer tragedy firsthand often experience an increased capacity for love, compassion, and understanding. They become the first, last, and often the most effective responders in giving comfort and showing compassion to others.

4. A ward, as well as a family, draws closer together as it endures together—what happens to one happens to all.

5. And perhaps most important, we can each be more compassionate and caring because we have each had our own personal trials and experiences to draw from. We can endure together.

I rejoice in belonging to such a loving and caring organization. No one knows better how to bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. I choose to call it “enduring together.” What happens to one happens to all. We endure together.

Read the full talk here.

The only time in my life I've worn glasses

Sunrise by Mary Oliver

You can
die for it-
an idea,
or the world. People
have done so,
brilliantly,
letting
their small bodies be bound
to the stake,
creating
an unforgettable
fury of light. But
this morning,
climbing the familiar hills
in the familiar
fabric of dawn, I thought
of China,
and India
and Europe, and I thought
how the sun
blazes
for everyone just
so joyfully
as it rises
under the lashes
of my own eyes, and I thought
I am so many!
What is my name?
What is the name
of the deep breath I would take
over and over
for all of us? Call it
whatever you want, it is
happiness, it is another one
of the ways to enter
fire.

I love this boy

The Melville Pantry

If you want an insight into my roommates and Melville, this one is pretty great.

Quote of the Day

"I took apart a HP laptop, and it was made of components (transistors, capacitors, circuit board, gold linings and such), you know, the boring usual result of the miniturisation process. When I took apart a Mac, I stumbled upon a world was full of little elves and unicorns who were playing on rolling green hills surrounded by snow-tipped mountains and fields of beautiful flowers that danced in the wind like a Russian ballereena. There was also a rainbow or two there as well.
The HP laptop was surprisingly a little bit heavier, but that's to be expected. Mactops were sprinkled with faerie dust for taking off most of the weight."

slashdot

Young Sea by Carl Sandburg

The sea is never still.
It pounds on the shore
Restless as a young heart,
Hunting.

The sea speaks
And only the stormy hearts
Know what it says:
It is the face
of a rough mother speaking.

The sea is young.
One storm cleans all the hoar
And loosens the age of it.
I hear it laughing, reckless.

They love the sea,
Men who ride on it
And know they will die
Under the salt of it

Let only the young come,
Says the sea.

Let them kiss my face
And hear me.
I am the last word
And I tell
Where storms and stars come from.

Quote of the Day

You need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.

Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind

iTunes Playlist

My Favourite Book (Stars)
(What A) Wonderful World (Sam Cooke)
Love of my Life (Queen)
How Deep is Your Love (The Bird and the Bee)
A Thousand Tiny Pieces (Sean Hayes)
Love me like the World is Ending (Ben Lee)
You are the Sunshine of my Life (Stevie Wonder)

LOLCAT of the Day

Romans 8:38-39

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Waking from Sleep by Robert Bly

Inside the veins there are navies setting forth
Tiny explosions at the water lines
And seagulls weaving in the wind of the salty blood.

It is the morning. The country has slept the whole winter.
Window seats were covered with fur skins the yard was full
Of stiff dogs and hands that clumsily held heavy books.

Now we wake and rise from bed and eat breakfast!-
Shouts rise from the harbor of the blood
Mist and masts rising the knock of wooden tackle in the sunlight.

Now we sing and do tiny dances on the kitchen floor.
Our whole body is like a harbor at dawn;
We know that our master has left us for the day.

Quote of the Day

There is one virtue, attribute, or principle, which, if cherished and practised by the Saints, would prove salvation to thousands upon thousands. I allude to charity, or love, from which proceed forgiveness, long-suffering, kindness, and patience.

Brigham Young, JD 7:133 34

The Silken Tent by Robert Frost

She is as in a field a silken tent
At midday when the sunny summer breeze
Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent,
So that in guys it gently sways at ease,
And its supporting central cedar pole,
That is its pinnacle to heavenward
And signifies the sureness of the soul,
Seems to owe naught to any single cord,
But strictly held by none, is loosely bound
By countless silken ties of love and thought
To every thing on earth the compass round,
And only by one's going slightly taut
In the capriciousness of summer air
Is of the slightest bondage made aware.

Under the Harvest Moon by Carl Sandburg

Under the harvest moon,
When the soft silver
Drips shimmering
Over the garden nights,
Death, the gray mocker,
Comes and whispers to you
As a beautiful friend
Who remembers.

Under the summer roses
When the flagrant crimson
Lurks in the dusk
Of the wild red leaves,
Love, with little hands,
Comes and touches you
With a thousand memories,
And asks you
Beautiful, unanswerable questions.

Doctrine & Covenants 46:30

He that asketh in the Spirit asketh according to the will of God.

Flashback: Mom

Flashback: Karren, Stu & Laura

Brim With Joy by Neal A. Maxwell

"God is serious about joy." Joy is the essence of what He would have us experience.

Joy is obviously of a higher order than mere pleasure. Pleasure is perishable. It has a short shelf life. Joy, on the other hand, is lasting. It involves the things that really matter, such as being forgiven and forgiving another. One true test of ultimate value has to do with whether or not something is lasting.

Joy has a way of renewing itself, and the ripple effects of joy are constant and ever emanating; joy has a momentum of its own.

When we enlarge our capacity to love, other people become real individuals, not merely functions. Gospel duties cease to be mere routine and become, instead, doors to delight. Every doctrine of the gospel is a door to delight that, when opened, exposes us to a vista of things we have not yet fully comprehended.

Joy will come in a thousand ways--when we see a relationship mended or enriched as between spouses and siblings and friends.

When we reach a point of consecration, our afflictions will be swallowed up in the joy of Christ. It does not mean we won't have afflictions, but they will be put in a perspective that permits us to deal with them. With our steady pursuit of joy and with each increasing measure of righteousness, we will experience one more drop of delight--one drop after another--until, in the words of a prophet, our hearts are "brim with joy" (Alma 26:11).

Read the full talk here.

Have We Not Reason to Rejoice? by Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Have we, amidst all of our challenges, not reason to rejoice?

We all go through different life experiences. Some are filled with joy, and others with sorrow and uncertainty.

Aren’t the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and our membership in His Church great reasons to rejoice?

Wherever you live on this earth and whatever your life’s situation may be, I testify to you that the gospel of Jesus Christ has the divine power to lift you to great heights from what appears at times to be an unbearable burden or weakness. The Lord knows your circumstances and your challenges.

My dear brothers and sisters, there will be days and nights when you feel overwhelmed, when your hearts are heavy and your heads hang down. Then, please remember, Jesus Christ, the Redeemer, is the Head of this Church. It is His gospel. He wants you to succeed. He gave His life for just this purpose. He is the Son of the living God. He has promised:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

“For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee” (3 Nephi 22:10). “I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer” (3 Nephi 22:8).

My dear friends, the Savior heals the broken heart and binds up your wounds (see Psalm 147:3). Whatever your challenges may be, wherever you live on this earth, your faithful membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the divine powers of the gospel of Jesus Christ will bless you to endure joyfully to the end.

Read the full talk here.

Quote of the Day

Patience is not indifference. Actually, it means caring very much but being willing, nevertheless, to submit to ... what the scriptures call the "process of time."
Neal A. Maxwell

Press Release: The Family, California Marriage, and Proposition 8

As many know, a recent petition placed a constitutional amendment on the November ballot in California. The proposed amendment reaffirms an intiative passed in 2000 defining marriage in California as being between a man and a woman. This year's proposed amendment comes in the wake of the previous initiative being deemed unconstitutional by California judges.

On June 29th of this year, the first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints distributed a letter to California saints, requesting that all members support the constitutional amendment (proposition 8). In my congregation and others in the Bay Area, this was significant due to both the doctrine (many of us have colleagues / friends who are gay) and the political nature of the request (rarely, if ever in our lifetimes, has the Church requested political activism of the saints).

Yesterday I was given the assignment to mobilize my ward as directed by the stake as the Proposition 8 Coordinator.

I'm pretty overwhelmed by this assignment, but ever since the letter was read, I kept thinking about it - it kept coming up again and again for me. That was in my mind yesterday when I received the assignment and I felt it reaffirmed to me that this assignment is from God.

I personally do not like to be politically proactive because I don't like to get into inflammatory arguments. I don't like to contest others. I also have friends that I care deeply about who will not agree with me on this. But I do know that the sacrifices God may ask me and my generation to make may be different from past generations - but perhaps just as difficult. I also know that true doctrine can be taught in love, even when it is not accepted.

I know that the content / doctrine of this request is true because I know that the Proclamation on the Family given in 1995 is true. I know that the political nature of the request is divine because from what I have read in the Old Testament and in the Book of Mormon, God holds his people accountable for the laws of their country. We will be held accountable if we sit in complacency and do not act in faith.

I know that our country will be blessed as we uphold eternal truths and values. This includes freedom, justice, and family.

James 1:4

Let patience have her perfect work.

Flashback: First Day of School

2 Sam 12:22

While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live?

Quote of the Day

Why waste your time, your talents, your means, your influence in following something that will perish and pass away, when you could devote yourselves to a thing that will stand forever? For this Church and kingdom, to which you belong, will abide and continue in time, in eternity, while endless ages roll along, and you with it will become mightier and more powerful; while the things of this world will pass away and perish, and will not abide in nor after the resurrection, saith the Lord our God.

Joseph F Smith

Flashback: Laura & Karren

Flashback: Mom & Karren