Quote of the Day

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
Abraham Lincoln

Stress Buster #7

Be prepared to wait. A paperback can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.

Neal A. Maxwell:
Clearly, without patience we will learn less in life. We will see less; we will feel less; we will hear less. Ironically, "rush" and "more" usually mean "less." The pressure of "now," time and time again, go against the grain of the gospel with its eternalism.

Things to accomplish in 2012

From my 100 things, I'm planning to do the following this year:

• go on a cruise (#16) - I go tomorrow!
• learn to play the organ using pedals (#45) - I only sort of fake it right now
• start writing my personal history (#58) - I haven't journaled consistently since high school, so I should start improving my habits here. Bruce has been a great journaler - up until he met married me, of course... oops!
• start memorizing some poems & scriptures :) (#70 & #55)

I probably will only finish the first one, since the last two are more ongoing efforts and I have a feeling the second one will be, too.

Quote of the Day

Gordon B. Hinckley clipped this from the Wall Street Journal, titled “The Most Creative Job in the World”:

“It involves taste, fashion, decorating, recreation, education, transportation, psychology, romance, cuisine, designing, literature, medicine, handicraft, art, horticulture, economics, government, community relations, pediatrics, geriatrics, entertainment, maintenance, purchasing, direct mail, law, accounting, religion, energy and management. Anyone who can handle all those has to be somebody special. She is. She’s a homemaker.” (3 June 1983.)

via

Stress Buster #6

Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart "at the worst possible moment."

Stress Buster #5

Make duplicates of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden.

What we have been up to

• Bruce and I organized & cleaned our entire bedroom last night. It's starting to look really good!
• One of the Christmas cards we received was a print of a piece (painted by our friend) that I've been wanting for a long time. I got it back from being framed yesterday and it looks gorgeous! I'll try to take a picture soon.
• My cruise is in 2 weeks. Bruce is going to Austin to visit some friends while I'm gone.
• I'm sick for the third time in 4 weeks. I thought I had been sleeping & taking care of myself, but my clients tell me differently. How would they know? I'm serious. Also, I did get a flu shot, so it's just head colds & what-not, so not a huge deal except that I am on the phone a lot so it's hard on my voice.
• My work computer crashed at noon and I still can't get it to start up. I'm trying to work from our mac, but all of my files & bookmarks are on my pc. Maybe I should give up =)

I think I'm going to go get some pho now.

The Butternut Tree at Fort Juniper by Jack Gilbert

I called the tree a butternut (which I don't think
it is) so I could talk about how different
the trees are around me here in the rain.
It reminds me how mutable language is. Keats
would leave blank places in his drafts to hold on
to his passion, spaces for the right words to come.
We use them sideways. The way we automatically
add bits of shape to hold on to the dissolving dreams.
So many of the words are for meanwhile. We say,
"I love you" while we search for language
that can be heard. Which allows us to talk
about how the aspens over there tremble
in the smallest shower, while the tree over by
the window here gathers the raindrops and lets them
go in bunches. The way my heart carols sometimes,
and other times yearns. Sometimes is quiet
and other times is powerfully quiet.

Stress Buster #4

Do nothing you have to lie about later.

John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free

Sweet Nothings

I just have to document this because it made me so happy and I don't want to forget these little moments.

Monday - I dropped off my older nephew from school at a friend's house. I went in the back room to interrupt my younger nephew Tommy (2 1/2) at play to get a quick hug. I said, 'Tommy, can you come give me a hug?' His head popped out of the play house he was in and he said 'Of course!' before running over to me to give me a sweet hug and kiss.

Wednesday (today) - I went to my parents' house to use their phone (since I had forgotten mine). I walked in and Tommy ran up the stairs immediately to me. His mom said, 'well, that's the first time today he's been excited about anything!' He gave me a big hug and asked me 'where's Bruce?' I explained Bruce wasn't around and instead of climbing down, he continued to hug me as we walked downstairs. Then he said to me in his little baby voice, 'I've miss'd you so much.' I hadn't quite heard so I asked him what he'd said and he said it again. Oh my! my heart just melted then and there. I love that baby boy!

Surprised by Evening by Robert Bly

There is unknown dust that is near us
Waves breaking on shores just over the hill
Trees full of birds that we have never seen
Nets drawn with dark fish.

The evening arrives; we look up and it is there
It has come through the nets of the stars
Through the tissues of the grass
Walking quietly over the asylums of the waters.

The day shall never end we think:
We have hair that seemed born for the daylight;
But at last the quiet waters of the night will rise
And our skin shall see far off as it does under water.

Stress Buster #3

Don't rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.

I've gotten worse at this since using Google Calendar, because it's not very well integrated with my iPhone, nor is it integrated with my work calendar. I'm doing better about looking at my Google Calendar, but it is a challenge.

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Stress Buster #2

Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.

I do this on the days I go to the office (as opposed to the days I work from home) and I love it. I lay out my clothes just like I used to do as a kid (for the first day of school, at least). I put everything I need by the door so that I can grab it on my way out (bag, water bottle, computer).

Life after the wedding

One of the reasons I haven't blogged much since Bruce and I got married is that there has been so much change, change that I don't really know how to embrace.

I love being married to Bruce and I love having our own apartment and making our own life together, but almost everything else about getting married and being newly married has been very challenging.

When we were first married, work got very busy and I got a serious case of 'senioritis' - where all I wanted was to quit my job and be a stay at home wife. It felt very strange to want that so strongly, and I was really depressed with having such a discrepancy in what I wanted and what I was doing. Of course, I wasn't really going to quit my job and live off of Bruce's income, but it was what I wanted and so I just felt guilty and frustrated.

Then, I gained a lot of weight after getting married and I was very insecure socially with my old friends from the singles ward as well as new friends I was meeting at church.

Which was the final challenge, really. Even now, Bruce and I haven't really made friends with anyone at church. There are many people I admire and everyone is friendly, but every now and then when I stumble across a blog of someone at church, I see all of these parties & get-togethers with other people in our ward (including members who are newer than we are), and I don't want to be covetous or sad, but I do feel a little left out and lonely. I know we aren't even party people, per se, but it's hard to go from a single ward where everyone is always invited (for the most part) to a family ward where church and social life seem very, very separate.

Things have been getting better. I spoke to a counselor late last year to talk through some of the frustrations I had been having, and that helped a lot. I feel much better about my job and how to draw boundaries so that even if it's busy I don't feel trapped. I am very grateful to have the job that I have, even though I don't *love* it. I have great co-workers, great benefits, and lots of flexibility. My manager acknowledges all of the good work I do and is not overly critical for the mistakes I make. He is very supportive and I couldn't be luckier. The Lord has led me throughout my career to better and better situations and I know He is still with me.

I probably should have expressed this throughout the last year and a half, but I was embarrassed and didn't really know what to write. I didn't really understand the reactions I was having and felt weird that I was so happy being married and yet so sad about the change that was happening. Even when I could count my blessings and knew that my life wasn't 'that hard,' it still felt hard.

One good change coming up: I turn 30 in a few weeks! So crazy, but I'm really excited! It's strange to be getting so old and realize how young I am, too :) haha

The Purist by Ogden Nash

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."

Stress Buster #1

Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.

I have this collection of 52 stress busters that I found online at Texas Woman's University and I love them! I am going to post them once a week so that I can think about them and refer to them. Let's be honest, this blog is more for my benefit than for yours. (sorry about that). Also, I really liked this article '9 Reasons to Wake up Early' and am going to study it in addition to stress busters.

I Am Cherry Alive by Delmore Schwartz

“I am cherry alive,” the little girl sang,
“Each morning I am something new:
I am apple, I am plum, I am just as excited
As the boys who made the Hallowe’en bang:
I am tree, I am cat, I am blossom too:
When I like, if I like, I can be someone new,
Someone very old, a witch in a zoo:
I can be someone else whenever I think who,
And I want to be everything sometimes too:
And the peach has a pit and I know that too,
And I put it in along with everything
To make the grown-ups laugh whenever I sing:
And I sing It is true; it is untrue;
I know, I know, the true is untrue,
The peach has a pit, and the pit has a peach:
And both may be wrong when I sing my song,
But I don’t tell the grown-ups: because it is sad,
And I want them to laugh just like I do
Because they grew up and forgot what they knew
And they are sure I will forget it some day too.
They are wrong. They are wrong. When I sang my song, I knew, I knew!
I am red, I am gold, I am green, I am blue,
I will always be me, I will always be new!”

Percy (One) by Mary Oliver

Percy

(One)

Our new dog, named for the beloved poet,
ate a book which unfortunately we had
left unguarded.
Fortunately, it was the Bhagavad Gita,
of which many copies are available.
Every day now, as Percy grows
into the beauty of his life, we touch
his wild, curly head and say,

"Oh, wisest of little dogs."

What's cooking

I have already started stage 1 of this and will be starting the process of baking this.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!