A Word on Wind by Ogden Nash

Cows go around saying Moo,
But the wind goes around saying Woooo.
Ghosts say Woooo to you, too,
But everybody has heard the wind and few people have heard a ghost,
So it is commonly supposed that the wind says Woooo the most.
Scientists try to tell us that wind is caused by atmospheric conditions at the North Pole or over distant Canadian ranches,
But I guess scientists don't ever get to the country because everybody who has ever been in the country knows that wind is caused by the trees waggling their branches.
On the ocean, where there are no trees, they refer to the wind as gales,
And it is probably caused by whales,
And in the Sahara, where there are no trees or whales either, they call the wind simoom or something,
And it is the result of the profanation of Tutankhamen's tomb or something.
Ill winds blow nobody good and they also blow new hats into mud puddles and voracious clouds of mosquitoes into propinquity with your hide,
And they make your cigarette burn down on just one side.
Some people are very refined,
And when they recite poetry or sing songs they pronounce wind, wined.
Well, dear wined, every time you say Wooooo,
Why I wish you would say it to people who say wined, right after you have said it somewhere where somebody is making fertilizer or glue.