Leaving Los Gatos

From the top of the street, looking down on the rest of Los Gatos, one could see the fog creeping low over downtown.

It watched us take a vague, silent leave - the gesture strikingly similar in texture and memory to what I was leaving behind the low bridge - smooth, crisp fog - lush, minty pine - all bound and intertwined within itself.

Leaving, I witnessed the senses, sounds and smells exhume and drift behind the foothills as I drove to the right of (never quite losing sight of) the sun - leaving terse and tart details behind in the mist (which was starting to fade with the rising sun).

The concrete (bright and bold) present gives way to the abstract (dusky and delicate) past as I drive once again towards those soft, gently-swaying hills.

February 2001

Knowing only your wife, whom you love, you can understand all women better than if you knew thousands

(Leo Tolstoy: Anna Karenina)

"'It may be that in number you have known more women than I have. But I am married, and believe me, that "knowing only your wife, whom you love, you can understand all women better than if you knew thousands."

'Here is my opinion. Women are the chief stumbling-block in a man's career. It is difficult to love a woman and do anything else. To achieve it and to love in comfort and unhampered, the only way is to marry! How am I to put to you what I think?' and Serpukhovskoy, who was fond of similes, went on: 'Wait a bit! Wait a bit! ... Yes, if you had to carry a load and use your hands at the same time, it would be possible only if the load were strapped on your back: and that is marriage. I found that when I married, I suddenly had my hands free. But if you drag that load without marriage, your hands are so full that you can do nothing else.'"

When I first read this quote in Anna Karenina I was very much struck by the simile. I, like Serpukhovskoy, am fond of similes. Yes, the simile supports the idea that marriage is a burden - but I don't know that all burdens are bad. Yes, it requires much work to bear the load - to have the relationship, but rather than an overly taxing burden, it is strapped to the back in a manageable way - and is the source of much sustenance and value - a treasured burden, one that we would not give up willingly. It leaves our hands free to focus on the task at hand, but is ever-present - requiring strength, attention, and work and in turn providing sustenance, focus, and comforts that will be needed all along the way.

Where the thought is so great that it cannot be other than gentle

(Victor Hugo: Les Misérables)

I think there is something very impressive about gentle people. I like this idea that gentleness is not grounded in naiveté or innocence - but rather in great and lofty thought and wisdom. I know very few purely gentle persons, but I think that we all have times when we are gentle - and that is when we are closest to greatness.

Where the thought is so great

I think it's interesting that the outcome of great thoughts could be gentleness - that that would be the aim of great thought and the ultimate success. That greatness would in fact be gentleness.

But what is "greatness" of thought? I think it must be truly seeing things as they are - stepping out of the false constructs that we surround ourselves with, and thinking about others as they see themselves and as God sees them.

That it cannot be other than gentle

I think that when we are able to do this - to think greatly and to see things as they are - we cannot be other than gentle because we see others as we see ourselves. Perhaps we see them with even more sympathy, even more love, even more tenderness than we often have for ourselves.

Sunday in London

An Interesting Text Message
Last week I text messaged a few people from the Stanford Ward just before I turned off my cell phone to take off for London. Since my business trip to London was somewhat last minute (I bought the plane ticket the day before), I hadn’t had a lot of time to communicate or email anyone about the trip (just my immediate family and a limited number of coworkers and friends). So I used text messages to let them know that I wouldn’t be able to answer my phone until Easter Sunday. I share an assigned responsibility for ward activities, and since we have a number of activities coming up, I knew that some of them may try to coordinate some of the logistics via voice messages.

The reason I mention this is that I got a text back from one of the members of the Bishopric, Greg Jensen, text messaged me that while I would be in London, he would be in Chicago (my usual commute!), and also that good friends of his, the Banks, were mission presidents in the London Mission and attend the Hyde Park Ward. Although the friend I’m staying with attends the singles congregation in London (the Brittania ward), Sunday happened to be Stake Conference. Hyde Park and Brittania are in the same cluster (also known as a Stake). Since all of the congregations would be meeting together, I made an effort to remember the Banks and to look for them.

Church on Sunday
Sunday morning (Stake Conference was scheduled for 10am), my friend and I took the District Line (GREEN) to South Kensington and walked a block or two to the Hyde Park building. The Victoria and Albert Museum (V&A) is directly before the building and it is amazing to walk by. There are deep black chunks of the building missing from when London was bombed during the blitz of World War II. In some ways, it is a rather beautiful memorial to have the huge stone building still standing, with the bombs’ blows still remaining, coarse and black and seemingly bitten out of the walls. Even after over 50 years, the marks are still very noticeable. I am glad they haven’t repaired the building. We forget so easily.

The Hyde Park building is similar to many other city buildings, except that it has an extremely tall gilded spire out of the corner of the building. It’s lovely.

We arrived just before the meeting started, so we had to get seats in the overflow area, but even so, the Stake Conference was very small compared to some I’ve been to in other parts of the world. In the beginning of the meeting, they announced that the Banks, Greg Jensen’s friends, would actually be speaking in the conference. I was delighted, as then I would be able to recognize them and, since the meeting was relatively small, be able to greet them afterwards.

The meeting was excellent. Much was taught from chapter 34 of Ezekiel in the Bible. First, a member of the Stake Presidency told of a recent experience of finding a lost child on a London street and compared it to the need to take care of his lost sheep. He also focused on ways that the Savior is our good shepherd. He quoted the Savior from this passage, verse 16, from the chapter:

I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick…

Especially as I’ve been thinking about Easter and the very personal relationship that we each have with the Savior, it was particularly wonderful to hear this chapter (one I’m not very familiar with) expounded upon throughout the meeting. Similar to the talks in the conference, this chapter uses the imagery of sheep and a shepherd to both explain the relationship of a loving Savior as well as communicate our own very significant responsibility to look after each other. These passages in the same chapter (verses 4-6) were quoted by another speaker with the latter theme in mind:

The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost;
but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them. And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered. My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them…

I read these later (in the same chapter), which are more specific to the Savior’s role, and what we should seek to do as His servants (verses 11-14, 28-29):

For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. And I will bring them out from the people, and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land, and feed them upon the mountains of Israel by the rivers, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of Israel shall their fold be…And no more shall the beast of the land devour them; but they shall dwell in safety, and none shall make them afraid…And they shall no more be consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear shame anymore.

It really was a very nice meeting - very intimate in its tone and in its message. It is great to attend meetings anywhere in the world and not feel lost or ill at ease, but see the same structure and organization and feel the same spirit and inspiration. It was also amazing to see what a diverse group of people there were in the conference. There were many foreigners (Americans, immigrants), many young families, and also quite a few missionaries - it was wonderful to see those elders and sisters working so hard to serve the people of London - it made me think of my brother Stuart when he was serving in the mission in England London South (he taught many immigrants in his first area, which was in the city, just south of the River Thames).

After the meeting I waited a few minutes, and then approached President Banks. I explained that Greg Jensen had asked me to greet him, and he explained how he knew the Jensens. President Banks was in fact once Greg’s Bishop and knows Greg’s wife Suzanne as well. He further explained that his first name is Benjamin. It so happens that Greg’s and Suzanne’s first child (under a year old) is named Benjamin. He is a beautiful baby boy and the darling of our ward. He is just as chubby and beautiful as every child should be. We also discussed how wonderful Suzanne Jensen is and how lucky Greg is to be married to her. In fact, he asked me to please remind Greg that President Banks still thinks he is lucky to have Suzanne. :)

Sunday Dinner
After the conference was over, a dinner invitation was extended to me, as my friend’s guest, to go to a dinner party down by Putney Bridge (also off the District Line). The neighborhood we went to was lovely. The hostess was a young woman (originally from Texas) named Julie. She is a nanny for a young family here in London. The family was on holiday, and so she had capacity to host almost a dozen guests. She took us on a tour of the home (narrow, four floors, old, white, stained glass, hardwood floors, very simple, very clean, and yet very nice). Dinner was also simple, and very delicious. We enjoyed grilled salmon, undressed rice, and fat slabs of grilled yellow and red peppers. They were very sweet. Then we had crepes for dessert with the option of bananas, strawberries, peanut butter, nutella, white or dark chocolate, whipped cream, or (d) all of the above. I opted for peanut butter & banana. There was also cake & ice cream available. Julie really surpassed herself!

One of the most enjoyable aspects of the gathering was the diversity of the group. Although all singles, and primarily American or British, one young lady (Grace) was originally from Kenya (but grew up in London), another young lady (Elona) was from Stockholm, and a third young man (Kevan) had just recently moved to London from Scotland. Both Grace and Kevan are visiting the States (Utah, specifically) this Fall and are very excited. Kevan was particularly excited to discuss the States as he is interested in moving there in the near future. I am happy to say that Grace is now one of my friends on LDS Linkup :) We’ll see if I get the chance to reconnect with her when she comes to Utah in November. Another fun fact (and an example of how small a Mormon world it is) is that one of the British young women, Rochelle, served a mission in the England Leeds mission and is acquainted, albeit slightly, with Brett Partridge, a young man I grew up with in Mesa, Arizona, who also served in that mission. He and my brother Stuart were both Deacons and Teachers together in Groves Ward and then again were in England missions at the same time from 2002-04 (Stuart was in the London South mission, while Brett was in the Leeds mission).

After dinner we played an extremely fun (and complicated) game I had never played before. It’s rather complicated, so I will spare you the details (it involved memory, trading first names, and moving seats), but YES, my team won both times! I can’t take much (if any) of the credit, but I won’t deny that I love to be competitive and I do love to win! It was a very high spirited game, so of course I enjoyed it :)

Of Cheese and Intoxication
It was nearly 7pm when we left (and Stake Conference began at 10am!) so it was rather late when we finally got home. We crouched, once again, on the steps of Starbucks to use the Internet, and then ate some of the delightful cheese I purchased at Neal's Yard Dairy. It was a very nutty, creamy, mild cheese, and the French baguette was delicious.

After eating the cheese, I needed to check something on the Internet again, so we went back to the Starbucks on the corner. It was raining, so we actually sat in the doorway across the street (an Italian restaurant) as it provided better shelter. At one point, my friend stood up to greet an approaching couple (man and woman). They were intoxicated, probably in their late 20s or early 30s, and the woman was wearing a guitar on her back. She came to greet me while my friend was talking with the man. In a very thick (and slurred) Russian accent, she greeted herself as Julia and promptly offered me some whisky. When I explained that I didn’t drink, she offered me a bite of her granola bar (I think), but since we’d just had cheese, I again excused myself. She proceeded to tell me that she was from Estonia and was with her husband Maxim and having a great time in this country. She then commented on how we were great friends, asked if we could get a picture together (I obliged), asked me for my phone number so that she could call me (too bad I don’t have one in England!), and then her husband sang and played us a Russian rock song on his guitar while she sang and danced along. Well, it was a fun party, we were good friends, but it was time for them to go. Good night!

Good night!

Greetings from London!

I sent this email on Saturday, April 8th, 2006

Safely Arrived in London

Right now I am sitting on the steps of Starbucks using T-mobile's Internet to email this. When I bought the 7 day pass, I assumed that Starbucks here in the UK is open on weekends, like in the states... My mistake. However, they leave the Internet up (whew!)

So I got in Friday morning at 8am into Heathrow. It was a surprisingly good flight; which worries me because I think I might be tempted to visit London more often as a result :)

I came down to my friend's apartment is which is literally 2 blocks from the Tower of London (Tower Hill stop on the Underground). My hands were so sore from carrying all of my luggage from Downtown Chicago to O'Hare to Heathrow to Picadilly Line to District Line to the flat. Ugh!

However, I got hooked up on the Internet by 11am London time here at Starbucks, and then went to take a nap for an hour.

Four hours later :) I awoke from my nap, used the Internet again, and then settled down to read Les Miserables. Went to dinner briefly with my friend, as my friend was headed for a daytrip to Dublin with a coworker (planned well before my last minute trip). I took the liberty of wandering about the area while it was still light outside, then returned to read until about 9pm and then fell asleep. Right were I'm at is by Minories & the Tower of London. Minories is not pronounced similar to "minorities" as I foolishly suspected. Just like other subtle British pronunciations, it is pronounced quite differently - the "min" sounds like "tin" to more like "tin"-ories, "minories."

Woke up at 1am. Very alert. Rats! I was hoping that my afternoon's nap wouldn't affect my hopes in adjusting to the 6 hour time difference. Luckily, I made myself stay in bed and I simply read until I felt drowsy again.

Saturday in London

When I awoke at 8am this morning, I was not feeling so alert, but since I have 9am meetings on Monday, I knew I had to force myself up in order to adjust. I showered, ate some digestive biscuits (healthy, I know), and then off to discover Starbucks' dratted UK hours.

Hair still wet, I booked it to the Tube at about 9:30am. I bought a day pass. The glory of my location is that it is in Zone 1 along with every other desirable thing in London. Hence, super cheap day pass. It cost less than my pass from the airport to the flat yesterday (4 pounds, I think). So I went first to St. Paul's cathedral, cause I'd never been there. Unfortunately, it wasn't really open to the public, and they're doing some major restoration to the main facade, however, the "crypt" and the gift shop were open. I wandered around a bit and then ran off to my next stop. (by the way, I was very disappointed because I had my camera, but the battery was dead. And although my friend has some adaptors, they have this round edge that juts out and forbid anything with a long power plug (similar to a hair dryer) or anything that plugs in very close to the wall to be used. I was so frustrated! So no pictures of St. Paul's yet - and a new shopping item on my day's itinerary - buy a power adaptor.)

Getting Lost ... er "Misplaced"

So, the next stop was on the central (Red) line and I was bound to... Holborn street! (High Holborn, to be precise). Who knew how many glorious things are off of High Holborn!? I knew not! My primary objective was to see the British Museum (again - since we went as a family in 2000). Well, I kind of inadvertently wandered down Kingsway (opposite direction) until I hit the Bush House or something like that. (where the BBC is housed). I then wandered up and found the Theatre district of Drury Lane - that's right like the gingerbread man poem! I wondered up Bow Street (Laura, Mom, and Alli should enjoy that!) where the first London police (The Bow Street Runners) originated, but since have been relocated (1992 or something). And that's when I wandered into Covent Garden or "The Seven Dials"

The Seven Dials

Let me tell you, if you think shopping in San Francisco is a treat, the Seven Dials is quite awesome! Covent Garden/The Seven Dials is a very fashionable shopping district. It was full of young Britain and I was totally pleased to have stumbled into it. I hurried past on my way to the museum, but I made a note to return (I only walked through Neal Street, I discovered the Seven Dials aspect later). So I went to the British Museum - wandered through endless antiquities and then back down to the Seven Dials.

So the reason it's called the Seven Dials is because there are seven streets that go to a point (kind of like spokes in a bicycle wheel) and on all of these streets are shops, cafes, boutiques, etc. It's really quite chic and lovely and I was so excite to not be in a touristy place - but a place I would love to visit anywere. I bought a cute casual jacket (which I needed badly) at a place called "box" something or other. I can't remember. Also a place called "Octopus" had some particularly darling French things all of which I wanted to buy.

OH nearly forgot to mention, that in the British Museum I finally bought a map & a guide book. Kudos to London, however, for having such a fabulous Tube system with great maps that will get you everywhere you want to go without a map. Amazing. So, in the guidebook it recommended that in the Seven Dials, I go to the Neal's Yard Dairy and buy some cheese. So, the best part of this shop, is that they cut cheese for you while you are in line and pass it to you to nibble on. Just in case you weren't sure you wanted cheese :) So I bought a very lovely cheese in the family of Brie, and a french baguette, and I was on my way! That's my dinner tonight & my lunch tomorrow.

Then I got onto the Picadilly (BLUE) line to head to Harrod's I still needed to pick up some Harry Potter books & my power adaptor.

I forgot to mention, btw, how fine the weather is! I wore a skirt all day today and a light blazer. It's been fantastic!

Harrod's

So I get out of the tube, and Harrod's is right there, and I'm delighted. I go to buy adaptors - again only the dratted ones with constraints - so I have to get the Tumi worldwide adaptor. At least I know it will work everywhere in the world. And I can get my hairdryer and my camera battery to work.

I went to Level 4 to the Children's books - and I bought my new copy of the latest Harry Potter book. As some of you know, I first read Harry Potter when I visited London for the first time in 2000. I bought the first three books here, and it turns out that the UK editions have very different illustrations (which I happen to like better). Stuart (my youngest brother) served his mission here, and got me the fifth book (I bought myself the fourth on Amazon.co.uk) and now I just bought myself the 6th here in London. I also bought mom a surprise that is signed by the author :) so exciting! I told the cashiers about the US editions, one of them didn't know, and we had quite a fun chat about the Harry Potter differences in movies, books, etc.

So I left Harrod's and there was this beautiful patisserie across the street, and it was tea time, so I totally got lured in for my lunch/afternoon snack. I got some sole soup with bacon, some french baguette on the side, and a currant scone with hot chocolate. It was beautiful and cozy and I was very content.

Lost Property

I got on the tube, transferred to my line, got all the way back to the flat, and as I unpacked, realized that all of my treasured books were gone! I can't use the phone here, so I had to hightail it back to the Patisserie Valerie, and then to "Lost Property" at Harrod's. I was sure glad I bought a day pass! Luckily, the Lost Property had my bookbag. I was so relieved!

So here I am, back near Tower Hill. sitting outside Starbucks. my fingers are freezing, but I'm having a blast. I hope all is well for you! I'll be reading more of Les Miserables tonight (Harry Potter can wait for the plane ride back) and just loving London. I really could live here, I think! Or else I will just visit as often as I can :)