Knowing only your wife, whom you love, you can understand all women better than if you knew thousands

(Leo Tolstoy: Anna Karenina)

"'It may be that in number you have known more women than I have. But I am married, and believe me, that "knowing only your wife, whom you love, you can understand all women better than if you knew thousands."

'Here is my opinion. Women are the chief stumbling-block in a man's career. It is difficult to love a woman and do anything else. To achieve it and to love in comfort and unhampered, the only way is to marry! How am I to put to you what I think?' and Serpukhovskoy, who was fond of similes, went on: 'Wait a bit! Wait a bit! ... Yes, if you had to carry a load and use your hands at the same time, it would be possible only if the load were strapped on your back: and that is marriage. I found that when I married, I suddenly had my hands free. But if you drag that load without marriage, your hands are so full that you can do nothing else.'"

When I first read this quote in Anna Karenina I was very much struck by the simile. I, like Serpukhovskoy, am fond of similes. Yes, the simile supports the idea that marriage is a burden - but I don't know that all burdens are bad. Yes, it requires much work to bear the load - to have the relationship, but rather than an overly taxing burden, it is strapped to the back in a manageable way - and is the source of much sustenance and value - a treasured burden, one that we would not give up willingly. It leaves our hands free to focus on the task at hand, but is ever-present - requiring strength, attention, and work and in turn providing sustenance, focus, and comforts that will be needed all along the way.