French Horn by Jane Hirshfield

For a few days only,

the plum tree outside the window

shoulders perfection.

No matter the plums will be small,

eaten only by squirrels and jays.

I feast on the one thing, they on another,

the shoaling bees on a third.

What in this unpleated world isn’t someone’s seduction?

The boy playing his intricate horn in Mahler’s Fifth,

in the gaps between playing,

turns it and turns it, dismantles a section,

shakes from it the condensation

of human passage. He is perhaps twenty.

Later he takes his four bows, his face deepening red,

while a girl holds a viola’s spruce wood and maple

in one half-opened hand and looks at him hard.

Let others clap.

These two, their ears still ringing, hear nothing.

Not the shouts of bravo, bravo,

not the timpanic clamor inside their bodies.

As the plum’s blossoms do not hear the bee

nor taste themselves turned into storable honey

by that sumptuous disturbance.

Quote of the Day

"Never eat more than you can lift."

Miss Piggy

Quote of the Day

Learn to love those who sin differently from you.
- Unknown

Quote of the Day

As you know, continued exposure to loud sounds will, in time, damage delicate organs of hearing. In like manner, if you overindulge in loud music, you will more likely become spiritually deaf, unable to hear the still, small voice.
- Russell M. Nelson

Kind of a big deal

Yes, I am cheating and back-dating these posts. Give me a break! I have had a lot on my mind!

Why?

Because on Monday, February 22nd I gave notice at my current job and I am starting a new job on Monday, March 15th!

I'm so excited, but making the decision was an agonizing process. (AGONIZING).

I'm extremely happy with this decision, the 2 weeks off I have between the jobs, and my ridiculously wonderful boyfriend. life. is. good. (!!)

Quote of the Day

The little things of life, sweet and excellent in their place, must not be the things lived for; the highest must be sought and followed; the life of heaven must be begun here on earth.

L.M. Montgomery

via Rachel

40 Days of ...

Tomorrow kicks off 40 days until Easter, and so I'm going to do the following:

• Purge my Google Reader of the superfluous design, fashion, and other blogs that distract me. (DONE!)
• Purge my iTunes of music that is distracting from good things.
• Blog daily (watch out!)
• Give up sweets (Bruce and I are doing this together).

Happiness Is

• space heaters
• tweed
• wassail
• Christmas lights
• rain
  

oh my dears

let me tell you how much fun I have had with the holidays this year!

Baking
1. Chocolate cream pie - made this for Thanksgiving and again for our church Christmas party. So delicious even though Gordon went overboard on the shaved chocolate garnish :) Love him. (ps: make this pie!)
2. Wassail - I just finished my second batch so far this season and it is warming my soul.
3. Chocolate chip waffles with peppermint stick ice cream - it was Sunday and we didn't have buttermilk or chocolate chips, so we had to settle for some rather dense waffles with chocolate chunks, but Marianne's ice cream more than compensated for it!
4. Chewy Gingersnaps - this recipe from my cousin Alice is the best I've ever tried and I will never, ever give it up!

Decorating
1. Dot garlands - my first attempt anything Martha Stewart and I have been SO happy with these! My friend Jess was the arm of this important operation.
2. Christmas Tree - my roommate and I decorated this with white lights while a third roommate made beautiful snowflakes to hang on and above it. I must learn how to make the snowflakes - they are amazing!
3. Wreath - I bought one from the local boy scouts and it is hanging just next to our front door (rather than on the door itself). It's rather fragile, so it will hold together better, I think.

I just attended my first Christmas party this year as well as the Creche Exhibit! AND I've been spending lots of time with this little nevvy of mine:

Journey of the Magi by T S Eliot

"A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The was deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter."
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires gong out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty, and charging high prices.:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation;
With a running stream and a water-mill beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky,
And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wine-skins.
But there was no information, and so we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.

All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we lead all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I have seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

Happiness Is

• The color orange
• Ginger ale
• Flat screen monitors
• Roses
• A new book

Happiness Is

• cashmere scarves
• a fresh manicure
• kissing my nephews
• bright colors
• fog

Quote of the Day

There's the country of America, which you have to defend, but there's also the idea of America. America is more than just a country, it's an idea. An idea that's supposed to be contagious.
- Bono

Miss me?

Dear Reader,

I haven't forgotten you, I've just been shy. I have remembered how fortune favors the bold, however, and so I've returned. Truly a Thanksgiving miracle!

Here is what I've been occupied with:
1. work (ho hum)
2. traveling an inordinate amount (this has now halted for the present)
3. cooking/baking quite a lot
4. cuddling my nephews
5. running/falling in love

More to come on all of the above! Firstly, lets celebrate the fact that the man of my affections returns today and also that my baby brother Stu returns for Thanksgiving on Saturday. How spectacular!

Let's also note what I am making for Thanksgiving:
- Layered jello (see picture below)
- Chocolate Cream Pie

I'll be sure to take pictures and post recipes!

love
kt

His Voice Had Grown Softer Each Day by Kevin Goodan

I need you to get me a ticket, he said.
For what, I asked, waking at the foot of his bed.
For the train, he said. They say I need a ticket.
Except for the small lamp the room was dark.
The air was cool and clear. The first night of september.
Do you know who they are, I asked
and he said , Oh yes. They are smiling and waving-
I havent seen them in so long.
They want me to climb onboard...I need my ticket.
I want to give you a ticket, I said.

Theme in Yellow by Carl Sandburg

I SPOT the hills
With yellow balls in autumn.
I light the prairie cornfields
Orange and tawny gold clusters
And I am called pumpkins.
On the last of October
When dusk is fallen
Children join hands
And circle round me
Singing ghost songs
And love to the harvest moon;
I am a jack-o'-lantern
With terrible teeth
And the children know
I am fooling.

a poem by Emily Dickinson

The bustle in a house
The morning after death
Is solemnest of industries
Enacted upon earth.

The sweeping up the heart
And putting love away
We shall not want to use again
Until eternity.

At the End of This Summer by John Haines

I wonder if I frightened you,
Coming as I did from behind
As you sat alone in your chair
With the low sun melting over your head.
I couldn't imagine what you were
Looking at or thinking of--
You who have always been so lively
And little given to quiet--
And the desire to bend and kiss your hair
Was almost unbearable.
You turned,
With that air of half-astonishment
You use so well, I smiled a greeting.

After that, we sat and talked for a while
And enjoyed the departing light.
Then the warmth was gone,
And we rose, I to take my leave, and you
To close the door and pull the shade,
And turn to the lighting of a lamp,
The starting of a fire in the stove.

Remember Lot's Wife

My roommate of bygone years wrote a blog post on remembering Lot's wife and not looking back. The many comments by the readers were (as usual) inspiring and some of their comments reaffirmed something that I have been thinking about lately, which is that

God is always forward looking.

I think that’s how He tries to coach our thinking, our attitudes, and transform us. Rather than fret and fester over the past, move on and do better.

We see a great example of this in the story of Cain and Abel. When Cain’s offering is not accepted (Genesis 4), Cain ‘was very wroth and his countenance fell.’ Basically he got depressed, angry, and was sulking.

And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted?

Cain proceeds to give up trying to please God in spite of God's encouragement. I find that God's initial response to Cain is pretty consistent when I think about the things He says to me when I pray. It is always one of the following:
1. I love you. Thanks for praying.
2. You’re right, you shouldn’t have done that. Put it behind you.
3. Do this. (I can help you, just ask)
4. {Insert doctrine here}

He never says:
1. What took you so long. You never pray consistently.
2. I can’t believe you did that again.

I think the best record we have of conversations with God is found in Doctrine & Covenants. One of my favorite passages is a great case:

For, behold, you should not have feared man more than God. Although men set at naught the counsels of God, and despise his words— Yet you should have been faithful; and he would have extended his arm and supported you against all the fiery darts of the adversary; and he would have been with you in every time of trouble. ..if thou art not aware thou wilt fall. But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent … and thou art still chosen. (Doctrine & Covenants 3:7-10)

If that isn’t forward looking I don’t know what is.

#23. Run a 5k Race

Last night I ran the Palo Alto Moonlight Run 5k and it was lovely!

Firstly, the weather was perfect and we ran on the baylands. I felt pre-race giddiness.

Secondly, so many friends were there! Lots of children, an assortment of neighbors and members of the community. It was delightful to jog in place, smiling, laughing. My newly released Bishop D W came by after finishing the 5k walk with his two beaming red-headed daughters. They were pink-cheeked and smiled so sweetly.

And then! We were off! I felt the imminent danger of a human stampede, but as I moved with the crowd we suddenly reached the open air of the trail. I forgot my iPod, so I simply ran alone looking at the night, focusing on my breathing, finding my pace. The giddiness melted away and I heard snippets of conversations from my neighbors as they passed me, I passed them. It was beautiful to think of all the many hearts beating in their respective chests. Most runners had some kind of light source - a blinking red button, a headlamp, a glowing necklace or bracelet.

And when I reached the last mile, I picked up my pace praying that I wouldn't burn out. And when I reached the final 100 yards, I sprinted. I beat my previous time, I was greeted by and continued to greet arriving friends. I ate orange slices, quarters of bagel, and reveled in the satisfaction that I had officially completed #23 of my 100 Things (see right hand sidebar). I ran a 5k race (and enjoyed it)!